Ancient Monastery and Ladahki Toilets …Amazing Views of Indus Valley and The Shay Festival

We had decided to take a short day trip by jeep from Leh to see the surrounding countryside. We met a very cute young Israeli couple, Merav and Gidi, aged 23 and 27 and they decided to join us. We left at 8 AM and were promised a trip to see a couple (only a couple as per our request) of gompas which are monasteries and the then visit in a couple of villages, see the official king of Ladakh (the state in which Leh is the capitol) palace and also have lunch at a normal restaurant. That was the plan for the day and we were supposed to be back at 4 which sounded fine to us...We had one day left after that to rest before leaving Leh yesterday on Friday to come back to Delhi.

The jeep picked us up right on time at our hotel and the second couple along the way by their hotel and we set off down the road. We traveled through changing countryside until we got to the area of the Indus river which is green and flourishing, a valley between two mountain ranges, on the left side looking very much like the Arava road approach to Eilat and on the other side, amazingly beautiful mountains in red and green colors of stone striped diagonally as if someone had painted them. Again, basically impossible to describe but take my word for it, it was absolutely stunning.

We drove along very happily eating rolls we had bought the evening before and dried apricots (just a word here about these apricots...they grow wild all over the Leh area and you can pick them directly from the trees...sweet as honey with no pesticides of any kind...and then many of them are locally sun dried...they look terrible...all brown and shriveled and with the pit...but they literally melt like sugar in your mouth. We also had fresh apricot juice to drink everyday....I've never tasted anything quite like it before in my life...if I had room, I would have brought some home)

...and drinking water and chatting and enjoying the wonderful cool mountain air...first stop was a Gompa all the way on the top of a mountain with a village and fields stretched out below it...something you might imagine out of a middle age novel or movie...the colors of the fields ranged from bright to dark green and were interspaced with beautiful golden wheat fields in swirling patterns, again, as if painted for our benefit...the wheat was being harvested (all by hand of course) and was stacked in beautiful round stacks giving more beauty to the scene stretched out below us. The monastery was very authentic, not putting on airs for tourists , and a novice lama was very thrilled to show us around. It's been there for centuries but is continually being refurbished and painted and maintained by generation after generation. All hand carving and hand paintings which are unbelievable but doubt will come out in the few pictures I attempted shooting. !

You have to understand that the monastery is not built ON the mountain, it is carved INTO the mountain and you just keep walking up and up through caverns and more levels...fascinating...We even saw two workers carving by hand using primitive tools intricate wood carvings for the ceiling of a room which was being redone. There was also some old tibetan guy with a big smile on his face carrying clay type bricks from down below all the way up to the roof up all these steps, up and down and over and over and all the time singing...also tried to photograph him...I 've tried photographing all kind s of unusual and interesting people and faces but don't know how good I am with a camera...time will tell

Well, we then finally had our fill and left and back down the mountain and up another one to see another very famous monastery call Hemis, which turned out to be just a tourist showplace built in 1987 and we didn't even stop to look. But were quite hungry and there was a restaurant there, and for the first time, we forgot we were in India and assumed you can eat anyway you stop along the road...haha...we ordered and when the food arrived, well, A. and Merav ate but Gidi and I had a little more sense, and despite the fact that we were very hungry, did not eat...won't go into details but Merav and A. did not feel very good the rest of the day.

Also...one more type of toilet I haven't yet described since it is basically indescribable...you have to be there to really experience it with the humming of the flies and the pungent aroma!!! But it is called a Ladakhi toilet and is basically just a mound of dirt with a hole dug through it inside a wooden room with no light so you can't even really see where the hole is which accounts for part of the aroma...I think no more need be added, but it was also a kind of interesting experience...sometimes you just have to go!

From there we traveled through a village, saw a local rug weaving cooperative as well as a local clinic and then our driver said all of a sudden there is a festival in a local town.

The Shay Festival!
This has got to have been the highlight of our trip so far as far as seeing local people and definitely not planned. It seems this guy , once a year, goes into a trance and becomes an oracle who can solve all the problems of the villagers and we were there just as he was beginning his trance. All the villages were there in their best clothing, beautiful local costumes and there was music played by drummers and pipers also entranced...don't think any words or pictures will describe what we saw or felt but it was certainly worth the whole trip for the hour or so we spent there.

Won’t go into further details but the rest of the day went by with no normal food and we finally got back to leh and had a very nice dinner and then slept like the dead until evening.

The next day, our last day in Leh, we hung around alot with Merav and Gidi, I ate the best custard of my life in a little restaurant on the rooftop above a bubbling mountain brook covered with cedar like trees...just a very pleasant and quiet day...the kind of days I would like to go back to Leh for...
In the evening we met all our newly found friends in Leh for a farewell dinner which was very nice a and we were given a special honor and blessing by the restaurant people where we had eaten most of our meals for a good life and good journey...all in all a very nice end to a very nice 10 days.

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Leh Airport Security, Flight Over the Himalayas and Arrival Back in Delhi

Next morning we left for the airport at 5:30 to fly back to Delhi. I always thought that Ben Gurion had the tightest security of any airport in the world...well...not any more. You cannot believe what went on in Leh airport. We were searched and frisked no less than 5 times, no hand luggage is allowed on the plane...they even take away lighters and matches...you have to sign a book before you go through more security checks, and you have to identify your luggage personally before it is loaded on the plane...this is after it has gone through a security check.

All of this takes a lot of time, but the staff and soldiers are so pleasant and peaceful, that we just took it all in our stride and eventually boarded the plane. The Jet Airways company is fairly new, the planes are beautiful, the staff very pampering, all in all a flight like to Eilat of less than an hour but in addition to drinks and snacks a full breakfast is served!!

The flight over the Himalayas is no less impressive than the overland route we took from Manali and both have to be experienced to be appreciated. The magnificence of the snow capped peaks flying above the mountains and below the clouds is truly awesome...no words can really describe ...as seems to be the case with alot of things in India...it must be experienced!!

We arrived very easily into Delhi and we are already experienced travelers here and had no trouble getting to our hotel...the driver again started to try and rip us off but realized very quickly that we were not novices to be made fools of..

As preferred customers, we received a really nice room this time in the hotel...too bad it is only for one nite...We relaxed a little and then an Indian guy I had met on the Internet from down south came up to visit and we spent quite a good part of the day with him...it is always interesting seeing places through the eyes of Indians and seeing that they too have certain problems coping but they certainly do it much better than we do...like crossing a busy street for example. We did it only once before and it took ages and we were scared out of our wits...there is no right of way or anything for cars, pedestrians...it is like a free for all and quite frightening...Well he just walked out into the confusion as if he were in an armored vehicle and no one could touch him and held up his hand to stop cars and bicycles and rickshaws from killing us and those that didn't stop he just put his hand on the bumpers and stopped them and kept walking...terrifying...and the two! of us behind him...and we did it twice!!

We ate in a local fast foods restaurant which was very modern and very clean and pleasant and had a nice light sandwich and lassi for lunch. They have all kinds of food including continental and Indian and Italian and snacks and cake and coffee and great ice cream and it is certainly a lot nicer than McDonald's for example which is also right down the road.

This morning, we finished our packing for leaving tonite by train for Dharamsala and thought to send a package home with extra stuff but the post office is only open until 1 on Saturday so we missed it.

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Sept 2, 2001 Train Ride to Pathankot and Arrival in McLeodganj and Gaining My Freedom at Last!

Well, I am just after my first nite in McLeod (Dharamsala) and also my first day as a "free agent" and I am feeling just wonderful.

So, let's get back to the train ride here, my first ride on an Indian sleeper train. We traveled 2-tier AC (air conditioned) and for me it was just perfect.

The train is a very pleasant experience...you are given bedding which is very clean including a pillow and you just curl up and go to sleep for the nite. The bathrooms are also quite clean with mirrors etc. Certainly nicer than those on a plane for example! I think next time I will try 1st class just for the experience to see how the really rich live...it is a lot more expensive but still cheap for any westerner.

Anyway, we arrived in a town called Pathankot about 3 1/2 hours drive from Dharamsala. We easily found a taxi (I am becoming a real pro at this stuff) and the road started out very nice but as we got higher into the hills and closer to Dharamsala, the roads became narrower, and more pock marked all the time, and at some point the road just basically disappeared and I haven't the faintest idea how these cars continue the steep, winding, hairpin curve climb up these mountains...eventually we got into McLeod which looks fascinating. I haven't really explored yet but will begin to today.

We got to our hotel which was highly recommended...but could be a few years ago it was nice but it is a real dump now...Hotel Tibet...terrible, including the food.
I immediately asked for separarate rooms as my companion and I had discussed and this is where the whole thing just blew up. For some reason she had convinced herself that I was bluffing...anyway...to make a long story short...you already know that we have parted company, but there was some very not nice words sent my way at some point. I really didn't care...it only proved that I was right in my decision, and the only mistake I made was probably not doing it sooner when I felt like it in Leh a couple of weeks ago...but I felt bad for her and with good reason.
After getting set up in my room I went to lay down for awhile before going out to explore, and there was a knock on my door....I opened it and A. was standing there all smiles as if nothing had happened and do I want to sit and talk...I said there is nothing to talk about and to please leave me alone to rest...maybe I would see her later....she began to cry and I simply closed the door and went to sleep..
A little while later the door knocked again, and I didn't answer, sure it was A. again, but then someone called "Hey Jane...it's Dyannne!"...This is a lady I had been in touch with from Israel who is the American kibbutz lady and she had come to look for me to take me exploring and just meet personally.

She was really my type of lady...very much like me in many ways, and so different from A. ...she also only travels alone but always meets up with people when she has the need. She was very pleased to meet me and we first went to eat and then she took me up to her guesthouse which was perfect and where I will be moving in a couple of hours. We sat and talked for about 3 hours and she understood completely about A. and even predicted what was to come and that it had happened to her several times in the past and I should just stick to my decision no matter what!

Well, after leaving her I went down to the best internet place town and started writing the letters you received yesterday and also chatting with my Indian friend on-line...who had met A. and asked me how I was doing etc. Little did I know that A. had slipped quietly in and was actually standing behind me reading everything I wrote without saying a word. I didn'[t write anything cruel or anything but certainly not pleasant things for someone to read about themselves, even if true. When I was all finished...she tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was ready to sit and talk with her!

Well, you can just imagine my feeling of shock and discomfort, but I said "no problem...let's go eat dinner at a cute place I discovered!" (I forgot to mention to her that one of the nicest things about the restaurent is that it is "no smoking!!) Anyway, we sat down to talk and what happened next was realy difficult for me but I turned the switch in my head and realized that she was just a lost, frightened, spoiled child and from then on had no problem coping. She first revealed to me that she had never intended to come to India alone and only when she realized that I would take care of everything and take care of her as well, did she decide to come. She also mentioned that her parents would not have given her permission to go if she had saied she was alone!!! My God...the woman is 46 years old!!!! anyway, she cired, pleaded (dyanne had predicted all this don't forget) said she would have to go home immediately, said she didn't know how to do anything by herself, said she was scared, overwhelmed, pampered, needy...you name it...she even asked me to have pity on her and continue takiing her along with me.

What I finally did was...she came up to my room...gave her all options avilable including phone numbers, e-mails and addresses of all people she could talk to to help make any arragnements she may want to...gave her all options of leaving, staying, whatever, and finally at 10 PM (!) I sent her to her room to sleep.

I haven't seen her yet today but whatever she decides she is now on her own. I told her the time had come for her to realize her own true inner strengths and stopped being a spoiled little girl. How she manages to counsel others I have no idea! She actually was very thankful for the things I said to her and said it was the first time anyone had actually spoken with her in this way. I told her I have lots of experience...she even said at one point she purposely acted the way she did to make me feel guilty (which of course it didn't) and said she didn't understand why it didn't work...it works on everyone else...I reminded her that I raised 6 children and am immune to such childish behaviour!

OK...so now...I slept, a littly uncomfortably..the bed is not good..hope the bed in the guest house is better. I ate breakfast and now am here writing to you..

I will be moving to my new "home" in 1 hour and have a feeling that I will be staying here for a long time. they have cooking classes, yoga, ayuverda, buddhism lectures, meditation, dance classes...just tons to do and just beautiful mountains to walk around in just for contact with nature which I know I will do alot of. I have also discovered some book stores where you can buy used books and resell them and buy others and I have already started reading. Haven't read "just novels" in ages as I had no time and I am really enjoying...first one I picked was a robin cook called Contagion which I hadn't read yet

...also can now really enjoy my music alone in the room and even pampered myself with some luscious pastries yesterday in bed before I went to sleep. I think I will finally start gaining back weight here. I will also get some natural medicince to get rid of this annoying cough I still have.

By the way...it rains here all the time. Not all day, but sporadically...but it is warm rain like in NY in the summer and the weather is actually very pleasant. My first purchase yesterday was an umbrella which I have already used and it is really good I have these nice walking shoes with me...all muddy...I am having a BALL!
that's it fornow....will write again maybe later on today when I get settled in.

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Sept 3, 2001- McLeod, Dharamsala Chopin, Monkeys, Oatmeal Cookies and Monsoon

I am laying in bed, listening to Chopin, eating oatmeal raisin homemade cookies and apples (after a lunch of spinach ravioli - all freshly home made including spinach and tomatoes picked from the garden and home made pasta) and reading Robin Cook's Contagion and thoroughly enjoying myself and at complete peace. Outside there are monkeys looking in my window, monsoon rains pouring out of the sky and blocking out the sun for awhile and misting the mountain tops. I am completely at peace. Lavender insense pervading the room and I feel completely and serenly at home.

Went to a Tibetan doctor's clinic for something for my cough and after simply feeling my pulse she reported: "You have shoulder, upper back and neck pain, knee and hip pain especially on the right side, sensitive stomach, constipation right now and sometimes extremely low blood pressure!!"She gave me a prescription to take care of all these ills and I have to report back in 7 days with a urine specimen. All this including the herbal rememdies for a week (5 kinds of pills) for only 40 rupees!! She was so pleasant and serene-also checked my blood pressure which to my surprise was 100/80-don't remember when I last had such a normal BP.

9 PM...I slept awhile and then a deluge of rain thunder and lightening began. Haven't seen anything like it in a long time. And I had no desire to go out so got myself together...went to the kitchen here and the guy prepared me a grilled cheese sandwich and ginger and honey tea and brought it to my room.

I sat and read and listened to music and ate my last oatmeal cookie for dessert and just sitting here relaxing and thinking how blessed I am to be able to do this with my life! The room is very plain but very cozy and I've fixed it up to look like "home". The music is great, I'm so glad I went to all the trouble of making those tapes for myself. I have a sheet and pillow case from home. Put my sarong on one of the tables, the walls are covered in bamboo and straw woven mats and it is really very comfortable. I've asked for hot water for a morning shower and it will be heated at 7 AM so I know I will have a nice hot shower when I get up [ i DID have nice hot shower...with very strong flow which I haven't had once yet in India...it was quite a pleasant surprise!].

Spoke with the owner and she has a beauty salon [i have a 12 PM appointment today for a body massage and facial!!] downstairs and she is also a Reiki Master and I might do my master with her. She also suggested a very good place right nearby to do yoga [I already did here in the room but I really like once and awhile together in a group]. So tomorrow I will go out and see where that is and then pamper myself a little and just relax for the next couple of days. I will explore the town and then in a couple of days start taking walks up in the mountains which are right out side the back door here. I've been given some suggestions for nice walks of up to an hour with a "tea house" to sit and rest along the way. Hope to take longer and longer walks and maybe even get up the nerve to take an overnite trek.

Well, it's still the same day but 4 PM and after an interesting and relaxing day am getting back to catching up with myself.

The weather here is far from ideal, still lots of rain and nothing dries so i will be giving my stuff into the laundry from now on. Prowled around this morning and bought some stuff for the room...hangers, small mirror, rubber shoes for hanging around, woolen socks for cold feet after having a great breakfast of tsampa porridge which is tibetan and made from barley instead of oatmeal and is delicious...very smooth...and tibetan brown bread with butter and honey and tibetan herb tea which is supposed to be very good for colds and coughs.

Then I went back to my room and read a little before going for my facial and body massage...yummy! Then had some hot ginger and honey tea and a hot shower and went for lunch with Dyanne, the lady I met here. She showed me a few more interesting places good to know about and then we had absolutely delicious chop suey with fresh veggies and tofu and homemade crunchy noodles for lunch. Thought we would have choclate cake for dessert but had no room so I bought some choclate chip cookies to take back to the room. I picked up my laundry which I gave in two days ago and will soon go back to the room to listen to music, read and rest and either go out for dinner or eat in the guest house. End of another lovely day. Still haven't done much checking of courses etc. but I have plenty of time...just enjoying being with myself right now.
I am feeling so pleased with myself.

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Sept 4-6, 2001- The View from the Terrace and The Movie “Theater” and Dry Clothes During Monsoon

Sept 4th,,,10:30 PM

Well, just to end a perfect day...I had been resting and reading when Dyanne came at 7:15 to invite me to the movies! (a picture I had never heard of but you must see it if you can...called "Baraka") Well, we just got back after movies and dinner and I will now read a little and go to sleep. I am really, truly, finally on a real vacation and enjoying every minute! Now playing solitaire and listening to Music and eating cookies! What a life!

It is now morning of September 5th, 7 AM I'm getting back to my old feeling of familiar home and schedule...and I just realized what the best thing about this room is...not only that I have my music whenever I want it. But I have this nice big bed(it's a double room), and one side is where I sleep and one side is where I have all my "stuff"...just like at home! I could actually see myself living here...of course winter comes in a few months and it snows...but right now it is wonderful. and there is so much left to explore...I haven't even begun...maybe today I will feel like it and if not...there is always tomorrow!!

9:40 AM...I've just finished eating breakfast and that delicious Tibetan tea, Tibetan brown bread (which most resembles and english muffin in shape, but is made of whole flour and is denser but very delicious) and I had two sunny-side up eggs for a change.

I am looking out the window at the nearby hills (3000+meters) and the distant Himalayas covered inmist...and below, flowing away the green lush valleycovered with trees and dotted with houses...from whereI sit the valley is like a gorge with the "hills"rising on both sides. There is a little sun thismorning which is very pleasant and the air is crisp.Very pleasant just sitting here.

I brought some stuff in to the laundry since the one big problem here isNOTHING DRIES and even if it started dry, if it is not in plastic bags it absorbs moisture...Like I have to go out and buy a cigarette lighter since my matches don't work and everything I finally have dry, I am now keeping in plastic bags for safe keeping. The laundry apparently dries the stuff as best as they can and then uses a drier for the final drying and then irons the stuff so it is really nice when I get it back. But I only have one long sleeve T-shirt (aside..bought another nice one yesterday in a shop for only 12 shekel) and I don't want to be without it for 2 days. and so for now I am wearing it waiting for a warmer day to give it in. Today I have in 1 pair of pants, 2underpants, 3 pair of sox all had been drying for 4days and were still damp...and it cost me 50 rupees.

September 6th...10:30 AM

Well, yesterday after resting in the afternoon I went down to lunch with Dyanne and we had delicious fried vegetable momos (remember I told you when they are in soup they are similar to kreplach) and I had tofu spinach soup...mmmmmmmmmmm!

I then went to get my horoscope from a Tibetan monk and she went off to the tibetan doctor I recommended...as she has the beginnings of a sore throat.

The reading was amazing. I wrote it all down and one day if I have the inclination, I will write it down. He also gave me his e-mail and told me to write to him anytime I have a question.

Then I went back to the room for a few minutes as I was planning to go out and see the movie"chocolate"...all of a sudden the heavens opened...since from my experience rain doesn't last very long here...I simply took my umbrella and went out. But this was REAL RAIN...I was soaked through almost instantly up to my knees...drenched...but just went on to the "movie theater" got there and in walked with me some other drenched people with no place else to go...it is actually someone’s home. A big cavernous high ceiling room with a bed, large screen TV and DVD and rows of old, hard benches to sit on. A little girl was watching Tom and Jerry on the Cartoon Channel and was quite upset when 6 PM came around and the movie had to start!!

The rain pouring onto the tin roof was thunderous and the first 1/2 of the movie we really had to concentrate to hear. Twice the electricity went off and the generator had to be started but it was a GREAT movie and I'm not sorry I went.

I headed back for my room hoping at least for a hot shower but still no electricity so I settled for a tomato cheese toast and hot ginger tea, said "HI" toDyanne and then put on some nice music, read and slept peacefully until this morning.

And guess what? The sun is shining for real for the first time since I'm here and it is even more beautiful than I realized. Hung out all my blankets and sheets to air and now am after breakfast and off to do some errands.

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Sept 7, 2001-"Accept the Night as the Day"

Yesterday was a fairly regular day...met some more nice people, strolled around, and nothing
special to write. But I had interesting
dream...in which I heard a saying "accept the night as the day" and understood it to mean that all things come and go in their own time and according to master plan and both nite and day, easy and hard, happy and sad, fast and slow, peace and upset, everything follows each other and must come together...you cannot have one without the other.


Woke up very peaceful this morning, met a nice young Israeli girl and we spoke awhile about
famiies and children. Went out to check out the Reiki Master guy and it was my first real "far"
mountain walk and it was beautiful. I will ben starting the course on Sunday at 3 and it will last
about 2 weeks including practical work (Lasted longer in the end). It seems a
lot better than the ones given in Israel although I don't really know. It certainly is cheaper.
800 shekelAnd I also found a place to do Ayuverdic Massage. When I came back to town to eat I sat near 2 Israeli (what else?) girls and one said to the other "I'd love to bring my mother here" and the other said" no way...mothers don't come to these places!" and I had to reply "Bring her here...she'll love it" and, as always, when I speak hebrew people are astounded since I don't look at all Israeli!

so we stared a converstationa and talked for some time and she saw me with the ayuverda
pamplet and asked " are you doing that also?" I told her I wasn't sure if I wanted another course and she said "Oh, please, please...I need a partner" and
so I asked her to register me so I wouldn't have to go back up the mountain. So, if there is still
room...I will be registerd and if not, I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Now I am sitting and listening to Israeli Folkdancing Music and it is pouring cats and dogs outside [everyone who lives here says the weather is most strange for this time of year and it usually is quite pleasant most days by now. but then again the weather is weird all over the world...they also blame pollution etc for the changes] and I will now start to plan my Rajastan trip.

Oh, now just ate a REAL American brownie, chewy with lots of nuts and it was mmmmmmmmmmmmm I can't believe how well I am eating here consistently...had a vegetable and tofu pie for lunch!


8 PM...rested, read, did meditation and then the rain was over so came out to check e-mail. thouight to write a long letter but will do it tomorrow..the computers were very slow this evening

The only real problem is I miss everyone...but it will not keep me from enjoying this to the fullest. My horoscope as well as my Tarot cards today are forcing me to put things in FOCUS...less thinking, more being in the moment, less planning, more experienceing...have
to really really start working on focusing on the NOW.

I am feeling more and more at ease with myself and realize that this breaking away from everything was basically the only thing I could have don.e I have had neither a headache or neck ache or shoulder ache since I got here and I must get myself to the point where I can live this way when I get back also....if that's at ll possible...no matter how you look at it
though, money is a problem if you don't have it...

__________________________________________________

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Sept 8t, 2001 Closer to Myself and the Majesty of God's Creations

I am sitting again at Nick's restaurant waiting for my breakfast...after making my first venture up into the mountains for real..and to my great delight and surprise, I did a full 10 kilometer walk up and back around the other side of the mountain climbing up at a steady sharp up angle all the way through some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen.

I have never been IN a place like this, let alone WALKED in it. I have taken pictures but there is no way to DESCRIBE the feeling of sheer bliss of having accomplished something like this.

The first 10 minutes were intimidating as I had no idea how far it was to the top or how long it would take...but my goal was to get to the "tea shop" and order ginger and honey tea and eat my apples and dried apricots.

Once I got into the swing of things though, I started to really enjoy myself...aside from what you see it is also what you hear. Absolute quiet punctuated by the chirping of birds or occasional screech of hawks and the continuing sound of falling water over the mountains...every once in awhile someone passes and smiles and the odd rickwhaw can be seen for those who don’t realize what they are missing by not walking to the top

...every new adventure for me brings me closer to myself and closer to the majesty of God's creations...I amaze myself continually and at some point, did what Evi suggested and literally yelled from the mountaintop "magia li" (I deserve this!)... I think I will give up the massage course as I feel right now this freedom of movement and self-discovery is more important to me...but will do the Reiki Master for sure.

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Sept 11, 2001 Rickshaw Ride in the Rain and Moving up to the Penthouse

The Quiet Sounds of Nature

Woke up Sunday with lots of errands and also had to go to my first Reiki meeting in Bhagsu at 3. Bhagsu is the next town up the road...about a 20 minute walk up the mountain..not bad but it depends on the weather. Since it usually rains in the afternoon, I decided to take a rickshaw up there. Tried calling the airline to change my ticket, brought in laundry, went up to Kana Nirvana where volunteers are sorted out to find out about volunteer work and nothing worked...At one point I just ate lunch and then came back to rest.

Woke up at 2:15 and it was already threatening rain. Got dressed and although I didn't feel like it, got ready to leave when the rain started. Wasn't worried since I intended to take a rickshaw but to my surprise there weren't any!

The rain had started a few minutes earlier and all of them were taken. Well, I decided to start walking up the mountain and finding one on the way and in 2 minutes I was soaked through. I had an umbrella but that doesn't prevent feet and legs from getting wet from the riquochetting rain. The rain got so hard that I had to stop and found a place where a kind of shelter had been set up and lots of people were just "waiting out the rain". But I had to be someplace (At my Reiki Master Course) and so kept looking for a ride but all the rickshaws were taken.

Finally, I just stepped in front of one and stopped it and squeezed in next to the other 2 passengers (Israeli guys but I spoke English) and rode up with them half sitting on one their laps with the rain pouring in the side of the rickshaw all over me.

Well, I finally arrive dripping wet and cold to the place and spent the next 3 hours cold and wet and then eventually got home, got undressed, hot tea, hot shower, light meal and off to bed.

Woke up Monday morning with a real bad sinus headache and thought "Oh no, here we go again!!" (It was only later that I realized that much of the “under the weather” business was due to the Reiki Master Attunement I had underwent…bringing things up and out so to speak!) What to do??

Went out of my room and saw Dyanne and immediately forgot about how I was feeling. She looked and sounded like death warmed over and she decided to go down to the hospital to the out-patient clinic. I went along so she wouldn't have to do it alone in her condition. I was also concerned about the airline reservations, and my volunteer work and canceling my Reiki class for the day-bad morning-

well, we got to the hospital after a really scary ride down the mountain...and she got her medications...and we came back up the mountain. All this went pretty quickly as she was number 16 and number 4 was in when we arrived...we were only there about 1 hour. (It was very similar to the set-up in our local Kupat Cholim Health Clinics in Israel)

I then went out, cancelled my Reiki class, got through to Jordainian airways, changed my flight to leave from Delhi instead of Mumbai , ate a nice lunch, picked up my laundry and then came back to move to the room upstairs. Well, the room is really nice and very quiet. I'm now sitting up on the roof in the sun and the mountain panorama is even more awesome here than from one flight below. But there is as problem with the room..THE SHOWER DOESN'T WORK AND THEY DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELLME!! I wouldn't have moved since I had a great shower downstairs...so they are sending someone to see if they can fix it. I'd hate to have to move again. I'm really pissed!

Up here there is no meshing all around so the monkeys come right up to the window and even try to open the door to search for food in the room. This is as close to nature as you can get! It is actually really great.

Anyway, back to yesterday. I brought a urine specimen into my Tibetan doctor on the way to hospital in the morning with Dyanne, and when I got back, to my surprise she had already analyzed it. There was a long line to see her but when she saw me walk in, she ushered me right into her office. First she asked "Are you takingB12?" "You shouldn't take that before giving a urine specimen as I cannot analyze it properly for color!!"...But otherwise, all was well, I am basically very healthy...nice to know.

I told her I woke up feeling really bad and she checked my pulse once again...asked if I was feeling"lethargic"...I told her no, except for today and she prescribed stronger medication than the first week. She also said what I though was poison ivy or something on my back was from some insect and would soon go away.

When I finally got back to my room I slept for about 3 hours like a dead person and then had a nice bowl of soup and chatted with Dyanne and Kelly for awhile and then back to bed. The walkman broke!! No music!! I am trying to get it fixed, if not will by anew one.

Woke up this morning feeling alot better. will not go to Reiki for at least one more day since I don't feel like getting caught in the rain again. Checked out the volunteer work again this morning but the guy is only there in the afternoon so it will wait for tomorrow.

Yesterday we saw a beautiful double rainbow which is I guess a bearer of good tidings.,

I'm a little "down" today but I guess that's because I cant' climb my mountains or do anything I really want to. (Again, only afterwards, did I realize these were all symptoms of the Reiki Master Attunement I had had the other day). Also because I know all of this will soon come to an end and I really don't want to leave this place..its simplicity , its peace, but I know I have to.

It is a beautiful sunny day today, like spring in Israel, right now I am sunbathing and enjoying it. Crows in the trees and hawks cruising by monkeys Chattering, birds chirping and basically silence all around. Maybe it's good not having music for a few days.

Oh, forgot, found a shop here that not only sells tinctures like echinacea for when I run out and oils like tea tree, but also dreid fruits and nuts...bought myself a stock of raisins, almonds, cashews and pistachios and am having a ball. The only thing I REALLY miss here is lettuce.. I am reluctant to leave the roof now as when I get back it will already be cloudy, but have to do somethings...so be back later.

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Sept 11, 2001- Following Reiki Master Attunment and Great Lasagna!

I've been feeling really kind of "under the weather"as I wrote and called to cancel my reiki Master second session again. He asked me what my symptoms were and then went on to explain that it is very possible, and happens in many instances, that at the first initiation for Master and receiving of the Master symbol, many things from deep inside start to surface and that is probably what is causing me to feel the way I am...not being wet and cold for 3 hours...he says to take my time, not to rush, sleep as much as I feel like and keep doing reiki and see what happens. so that's it for now

... I have just eaten the most delicious lasagna that I have ever eaten in my life...as a matter of fact,probably one of the best MEALS I have ever eaten in my life. It is worth it to take the overnite train ride to McLeod just for this Lasagne...at the Kokinor restaurant on bhagsu road...I can still taste it! will certainly be back for more ...will try out every type they have over the next couple of weeks I am here.

Now going back to my room with some new purchases I made on the way, plus apples and my downfall here,chocolate brownies, oatmeal raisin cookies and chocolate chip cookies, and hopefully my shower is fixed and I will then ask for the kitchen in the room to be provided with gas burner and some minimal cutlery and pot to boil water and I am all set for a seige!

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Sept 12, 2001- Ashish Fixes the Walkman! And my First Bucket Shower!

Snow in the Mountains and Reiki Magic!

TWIN TOWERS "STORY" TURNS OUT TO BE REAL!!!

First of all, thanks to everyone who tried to help with the walkman. But Ashish the guy who works here and cooks the meals and cleans and rents the rooms and everything else that has be done, also fixed the walkman for me!!! He opened it up and found some band had fallen off and he put it back on and everything is fine now!!

Yesterday decided to try a "bucket" shower as I really don't want to leave this room up here in my own private paradise. They could not fix the shower...apparently it never really worked as there is not enough pressure to the third floor but most people don't complain. The owner said she would give me a discount on the room so that will be OK. I thought to have the kitchen put into use but don’t' really want to bother.

So I woke up this morning feeling completely better..don't know if it is the Tibetan medicine or
the Reiki or both and I don't really care

...it rained during the nite quite a lot and this morning the distant mountain tops have snow on them...Tried to take some pics but doubt they will come out. The scenery this morning (6:30 AM) was the clearest I have ever seen it...no mist in any direction and it was absolutely breathtaking.

The Master symbol seems to really be working now and my reiki this morning made me feel really "whole" and content.

Last nite after 10 Ashish came to wake me and said I had phone call and I really got scared for
a minute...but then he said it was from Madras so I knew it was Ravin. I wasn't prepared though for what he told me. Ashish had also been watching TV and started to tell me something about hijacking and bombs but I didn't understand him and then Ravin told me about the twin towers and the pentagon and I kind of didn't believe him. Well I went to sleep not fully absorbing what he told me and only this morning I heard more of the story and am now going down to check the internet. (Checked and I am, as probably the rest of the world is, in total shock and quite
frightened. What can possibly come of this???)

Sounds like something out of a novel or movie...cannot picture the twin towers collapsing and don't want to even imagine what the results are. Even here you cannot really "get away from it all"

More later...the two frineds I met in Leh.. Merav and Gidi, are coming to see me today and stay for awhile in McLeod and I have to go up and meet them soon.

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Sept 14, 2001- Flowing with Reiki on a Rainy Day

Been writing lately more personal journal entries so I haven't been sending them off...many interesting things happening.. good things...inner musings....

Yesterday, Thursday, was a nice day...lazy day...sun was hining in the morning...really beautiful and warm. Had breakfast with Merav and Dyanne after reading up on my own penthouse in the sun e-mail, shopping for books, lunch with dyanne Merav and gidi, off to Reiki

I think I can easily teach much better than he does...enjoyed giving reiki today and "felt" the flow very easily.

then back to guesthouse...ordered a banana pancake (the size of a dinner plate)with honey and decided to eat up in my room in peace and quiet and away from bugs and noisy Israelis. Dyanne also asked for her dinner to be brought up and I invited Merav and Gidi also to listen to music. So, we all gathered in my room and it is now 10 and all have left...dyanne left,
first, still not feeling well and then we had a really great time together. I love kids!! And we even did a Tarot reading for Gidi which was "right on target". He was amazed as I always am amazed to this day.

Talked a while longer about weddings, babies etc., listened to Simon and Garfunkle and all in all had a really nice evening.

Now I will read awhile...listening to Rikudei Am(Israeli Folk Dancing Music) ...and then off to sleep...have to be at reiki again tomorrow to see a Reiki II attunement and class but I would
really like to walk for awhile in the mountains...will see.

Friday... 1 PM...

Woke up this morning and it was COLD and nasty...and it began raining in the morning and is
still raining...this is the first time I've seen day time rain here.

Made reservations back to delhi and also to Udaipur...decided to go first calss...the tickets are
around 200 shekls ($50) but alone I'd rather have a private compartment at nite...magiah li!!

I have to go to reiki today but maybe it will stop by then. If not...I might not go...we are planning to go to Kabbalat Shabbat today and tomorrow at 7:30 is a classical Indian music conceert and on the 20th a classical dance concert so looks like a week of culture. I am feeling very tired now and don't really know why but I think I will just go to sleep and see how I feel when I get up

Woke up at 3 (missed Reiki) and went down to lunch with Merav and Gidi...Merav had a brilliant idea that she and gidi get married while here in Beit Chabad while here in India!...wanted my advice...had a real interesting discussion...he is really nervous...worried more about what his mother will say about the idea...so we discussed that as well...

We will meet soon to go to Kabbalat Shabbat and we will be spending Rosh Hashana together at Beit Chabad so it should be nice.

That's all for now...it has stopped raining and the sun is out which will make it nicer to be out this evening at least.

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Sept 15th – Precious Time to Be Alone with My Thoughts

The Loving Green of Nature and Being Rooted

Sitting on a rooftop restaurant up in Bhagsu waiting for lunch. I've spent too much time lately eating with other people...it's nice on the one hand but forces me out of my own thoughts and they are very precious to me now. I only have a few more weeks of this...should I cancel my plans for Rajastan...no-don't think so...I will continue with them...Shlomo is talking of meeting me there and it could be very nice...I hope he will understand my need to be alone as well as together...

Came up today to try and work some things out with Akilesh...very strange couple of days...something is definitely trying very hard to work itself out but I don't know what and can't seem to do it alone. we'll see if he can do anything for me.

I will then be at a Reiki II course and then a concert at 7:30...big day but so peaceful... I never feel rushed here but still can't seem to get away from my thoughts...now am having thoughts about checking out the possibility of living here...will speak to Kelly..maybe it is possible to rent a house for a year...don't know but would like to find out. Some of the houses tucked away among the trees caressing the mountain slopes look like heaven. Would like to see them inside.

I am surrounded here by nature and it is no wonder that green is the color of the heart chakra. G-d has chosen to make this the main color for all the beauty He has created and to show us his infinite love for all mankind. the peacefulness and strength of the trees, they truly do invite us to be like them "be rooted and at peace and then grow"

Where are my roots?? Perhaps not in any PLACE...perhaps that is part of what I am feeling...the need to be rooted in myself no matter where I am...to truly be one with the Universe and flow with its overview in peace and continue to grow within myself.

aside: I have been trying to make an appointment for an ayuverda massage almost since I've been here and never find them available. They are always giving massages and can't be disturbed. Now while waiting for lunch (their room is right across from the restaurant) came out and I simply grabbed a hold of her and made an appointment for tomorrow at 12 o'clock They have a type of massage that is supposed to open chakras and perhaps that will help also,,, and if nothing else, it is back to pure pampering like I had in Leh. And then I can make further appointments.

I've started eating mostly salads, steamed veggies and tofu the last couple of days...I really went overboard with all the good food here...especially the sweets Now I have ordered a fruit shake, veggies with mushrooms fried rice (brown rice) and steamed veggies with tofu. I still have so many "things" I want to do here...but it looks more like a journey within than without...and this seems to be the place for both types of journeys.. I need to get to the Tibetan library and the Temple where the Dalai Lama is, up to the other mountain for a "walk"..over to the Bahsu temple and waterfall,, for a ride on the "miniature" train through the valley...don't know what I will actually manage to do. I also will be at a meeting of the local newspaper which needs a proofreader for the october issue. That would be very nice to do I think and I would meet some local people which is important to me.

I just got my fruit drink, and it is not this stuff they run through the blender with milk and ice at home...it is fruit with pieces run through a fruit machine and the soft fruit is just cut up and mashed...it is really delicious...apples, bananas,mangoes and something else...maybe coconut ..don't know but is very good!

Remind me to write to you about the babies and backcarriers here one day...very interesting!

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Sept 16th My First Classical Indian Music Concert

Well, last nite, after finishing my reiki course, I met Dyanne and we went to a classical Indian Music concert. Flute, Sitar and Tabla (drums) It was wonderful...just closed my eyes and floated away.. the music just flowed through me and opened me up from inside...especially the Tabla! It was like a 2 1/2 hour musical meditation. We sat on the floor and people were sitting one on the other and my legs and behind were killing me but it didn't make a difference. Probably not any worse than sitting at a 3 hour opera in Ceasarea Old Roman Amphitheater on stone seats!.

We thought to take a Rickshaw home but when we got out at 10:30 they were all asleep...Luckily, I always carry my flashlight with me and so we walked home in the dark down the mountain. But how many stars!...it was a moonless nite and it was dark completely..Really unbelievable.

Got home really late. I haven't been out that late since I've been here. But was up bright and early this morning and for the first time used the "2 bucket" approach to showering. This worked OK and wasn't too bad. At least I'm keeping clean.

Then started a busy day. Had an ayuverda massage at 12 and straight from there to Reiki so had to eat a really big breakfast to keep me going but not too close to the massage. So at 10 I ate tea, tibetan bread and butter, 2 sunny eggs and a big vegetable salad. Then went up to my massage which was great. She also does healing with crystals. I have another appointment on Tuesday.

I went up to Reiki then and today was a new group of 4 very sweet young Israeli girls. I had to do my first Attunement and it went very well. I did 2 and he did 2. Very pleased with myself. Spoke with the girls for awhile and by then it was 7. Then spoke with Akhilesh for awhile longer...I am having some problems with him as my teacher and will have to think about continuing...will speak to him again on Tuesday...

Now I have just finished dinner and am going to take a"shower" and get all this oil off me from the massage.Tomorrow is Rosh Hashana, also want to do some shopping...need a days rest. Just prowl around tomorrow. . Well, got back to the guesthouse and found Ashish not there serving dinner...anyway, he felt bad later that I had to go out when I was so tired and apologized...talked for awhile with Kelly and then Ashish gave me a plate with homemade cakes on it...it was Himachal new years yesterday or something and a friend had brought him cakes from home. He made me tea and I took it all upstairs, took my shower and got all squeaky clean and then got into bed with a good book and my tea and cake...nice!

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Sept. 17th Rosh Hashana at Beit Chabad

Went to sleep quite late and got up this morning to a beautiful sunny day. Did some laundry, read, ate some breakfast and finally decided to go out "shopping" and was talking to Dyanne about this evening..Merav and Gidi went up to Beit Chabad to help set up and cook etc. And we will all meet around 4:30 to go up there.

Then I had lunch.. a pizza just as good as any I ever made at home without tons of cheese ..Then back to the room to get ready for Rosh Hashana. Checked out someplaces in rajastan with dyanne and that's pretty set. Just have to now make reservations.

Then dyanne and I went up to Beit chabad for erev chag. Didn't know what to expect and was pleasantly surprised. About 500 Israelis, 99% young (even was someone there from the TV...channel 3 or 2 filming) a tent had been set up outside and there were little tables (basically large footstools ) and everyone just crowded in wherever there was a space available on the straw mats. Men and women were separated for Tefilah (prayers) but afterwards everyone just moved around. I actually enjoyed the Tefila...reminded me of rabbi Kaminetsky in Gush Katif...and thought to go again tomorrow but forgot I have to be someplace so will go again on second day chag if I can. ...it was a mad house but a very peaceful, quiet and well organized and well run one at the same time. Kiddush, challah, apple and honey, pomegrantes, salad,rice, potato and some green vegetable in sauce, and fish and all this served to everyone with amazing proficiency and with no hassle or shouting or anything...I have never seen Israelis so well behaved!! Some singing and the rabbi gave a short 5 minutes speech in which he managed to explain among other things about the tragedy in the States. In the Kabbalah it says that the Moshiach will come in the seventh year (this year is shmitta) but right before he comes before that seventh year there will be a terrible tragedy or war. So he is now sure that the Moshiach is already here and will show his face sometime this year (in the personage of the Rebbe)

Anyway...I was particularly surprised to see how many religious (or former religious) girls were there. [couldn't see on the guys side] and you could tell by the way they prayed...it was very obvious. And very interesting that they are traveling in India. Food here basically is not a problem as 80% of the restaurants are pure vegetarian. Which is why I am also having such a good time eating here. I just found it interesting to see them. You can't spot them on the streets but it was obvious during the services who they were.

Alot of the kids commented about how they wish they were home now eating Mama's cooking and I had expected a wild bunch just pouncing on the food and then leaving...but they all seemed kind of mellow, pensive and subdued...it was really nice.. Kol Hakovod to chabad. Tomorrow I also have a busy day...I think if I had realized that I wanted to go back toBeit Chabad for tefila, I would have cancelled my plans...but hopefullyI will go on Wednesday to hear Tekiat Shofar.

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Sept 19, 2001 Hints About the Story to Come and The Magic Of Music

Where do the days go? Yesterday went by like a blur...quiet morning...massage especially for joint and skeletal problems...light lunch, reiki, long talk with akhilesh...all is well (well today which is the 21st, I know all is not well but will write in sequence to avoid confusion) He also decided he wants to adopt me as his mother..that's all I need...another son...another alon.. But then he took me out to dinner and ordered me a real Indian meal but NOT SPICY. It was delicious...called a Thali...it is like a personal smorgasbord... rice, dahl, mixed veggies and pickles with chapati...really delicious.

Didn't get home unitl after 9 and gidi and merav came up. She also wanted a tarot reading...it was very good for her! Out up early this morning...regular routine of meditation, reiki, pranayama, little yoga...shower dress and met dyanne's husband who arrived this morning after his 3 week trek from here to Leh!! Over the himalayas...what I did by jeep !

Thought to go up the mountain..it is a glorious sunny spring day...monsoon is over...but as I started up I felt a twinge in my knee and turned around...don't want to take any chances...so walked up an easy walk up a lower mountain to bhagsu and then decided to find the 3 girls from reiki. 2 were very distraught yesterday after the session (and only today I know why!!) and 1 got her period ...all results of the reiki bringing "things" out and wanted to see if they were OK.

To make a long story short, walked up into the hills to some way out guesthouse...had water thrown all over me"just for fun" and never did find them! But met Akilesh on the way down and told him I may not come today and he asked me please as I help him now with the class and he enjoys my help...anyway...said I didn't know...have a concert and dinner tonight at 7 and didn't need another long day. But I asked him to give the girls a message to come to my guesthouse tomorrow nite for tarot readings.

Then I went to look for the waterfall I've been hearing about...a nice short mountain walk and there it was...very nice! Nothing spectacular except for the fact that the whole way up the mountain are tons of people, mostly monks, bathing and doing their laundry!!

From there came down and did some e-mail...foundA letter from Shlomit who wrote that she thinks I'vehad "e nofe fan" and it's time to come home!!

Then on the way down from Bhagsu, saw a shop with great cotton pants and bought about 15 pairs! They were between 9-12 shekel a pair and really nice...and also 4 little purses for the girls.

Well, ate lunch , went up to the room to get something warmer for the evening and then went right back up to bhagsu...got to reiki just in time and they were all very happy to see me...(thought they love me so much...only now I know why they were so relieved to see me)...One of the girls didn't get her attunement yesterday,,, she was not ready...all closed up and tense (which I now know why also...[this is driving you all nuts isn't it!!! hehehehe] I suggested yesterday that she do some writing and she said she never writes...anyway, as soon as she saw me today she pulled out a notebook with about 20 pages of writing.! She said she started and just couldn't stop and then afterwards when she read it floodgates just opened and she hadn't felt this clean and light in her life (she is 27)

So, I gave her her attunement (at her request) today and amazing things happened to her.. she was so pleased as was Akhilesh...she cried and laughed, saw colors, expanded outward, went deep inside and even had a small Kundalini awakening...she was really ready today...her whole body and facial expressions changed since yesterday.. she was like glowing! Just beautiful.

I invited all the girls to dinner tomorrow evening and then up to "my place" so we will meet tomorrow at 7 which means I won't get to the dance concert but this is more important...they want to talk to me (little did I realize just HOW important it was)

Then I left and came straight back down to Mcleod to meet Merav, Gidi, Dyanne and Yossi for dinner and then a music concert. Well, it is now 11 and it was the perfect end to a very long but most beautiful and rewarding day.

The tabla and sitar were even betterthan the first time. They are instruments which, if you let them, simply take care 0f all the chakras together. The tabla ranges from root chakra to solar plexus in tones and beats and frequency and the sitar perfectly matches in range from the heart up to the crown chakra. The music had me floating outside of myself for almost a full hour and although I almost fell asleep at dinner, I am now full of vitality and energy...amazing what music can do.

Tomorrow morning a lady is coming to interview me...she is doing some study in Israel about israelis who travel in India and was looking for an "old lady"and she was sent to me. Guess I'm the oldest lady inMcleod area.

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Sept 20-22 The Whole Nasty Story Exposed…Part I

Will try and write about yesterday but it will be difficult...

Started the day with the interview which was very nice. This girl named Darya is studying Anthropology in Israel and her thesis is something about Israelis traveling in India. She came equipped with a video camera and set it up by my room and then just got me talking, talking, talking...

She also works for 101FM in Jerusalem and has aprogram on Monday nites from 12 to 2 in the morning. Very sweet girl. We had a real nice morning.

Then I went down and found out about the tickets and did some errands and came back to sleep for an hour before going down to a meeting of the local newspaper. Met an American named Joe who has been living here for 6 years and edits this newspaper. Seems like an old"flower child" but was quite nice if a little weird. Another volunteer also showed up named Richard from England who runs a newspaper and also has a computer company. He will be helping the 5 paid staff with the actual set-up and I will be doing the proofreading for the October issue. Will start "working" Monday morning at around 9:30.

Went back up to the room for awhile and then at 7 went to meet "the girls" . I was really pleased to see them and thought we were just out for a evening of fun. We ordered our food and then one of them started talking very quietly to me about what she was wanting to ask for my advice about for 3 days. It seems Akhilesh, the Reiki instructor made "improper advances"towards her. I won't go into the whole story but one of the other girls heard part of conversation and said "what, you too??” By this time I was ready to explode since what I didn't write earlier to all for all of you to see was that he started with ME as well.(the guy is 36 years old!!!)

I convinced myself, or let myself believe his explanation that it was the first time he had ever done something like that and he would NEVER do such a thing to a young vulnerable girl and jeopardize his livelihood and reputation of 7 years here by doing something so inappropriate and plain stupid. (he is an EXCELLENT yoga and reiki instructor and so much to offer that it is really horrible that such talent should be tainted in this way!!) that’s what my previous 2 long conversations with him were all about...

I cannot tell you how I began to churn inside...I sat with the girls for a few hours and we just talked andI realized that I am the one to take proper care of this guy. He fooled with the wrong person. I am now trying to figure out the best way to deal with him and make sure he NEVER does something like this again. Those poor girls were really traumatized as probably were all those who came before them and also came and went without telling a soul about what happened. The violation is even worse since it came via a "spiritual teacher" and not just some regular teacher...These 3 were at least smart enough to stop him before anything more serious happened but I'm sure not all of those he tried with were that lucky.

I first thought to confront him but am now looking for a more official channel to do this. Lonely planet,Lametayel in Israel, local newspaper here, notices also on the bulletin boards (in Hebrew since most of his clients are Israeli anyway ) but am still checking with local people about the best way to do this.

I am now after a nice massage and in the middle of an arthritis attack.. not too bad but not real good either. I met a new "old" lady this morning...named Esti from Jerusalem. This is her 8th trip to India. So we also talked for awhile and gidi and merav left this morning and will be going home soon.

Now waiting for lunch and then I have another reiki class to help with and have to now act as if all is regular and normal...hope I can do it...I will use him for now to get my certificate and THEN I will do him in!!

September 22nd. - 5 PM Went to Reiki yesterday and spoke to him and will be finishing up shortly. Apparently he was stalling as having me as his assistant for the last couple of weeks had made his life simpler. I did I lot for him in the courses...

I have done alot of thinking and discussed this with a couple of locals and the final decision I think is to let people know via local notices, letter to the newspaper and also to LP and Lametayel that there is a great yoga and Reiki teacher here but forewarn them about what could happen. That way each person makes his or her own informed decision.

I came back last nite and Esti was waiting for me and she and Dyanne after meeting, started talking about Darjeleeng and Sikkim and it sounded so perfect! for the remainder of my trip, that I've decided to go there after Rajastan. The south will have to wait.

Spoke with Kelly (the american living here for 3 years) this morning and he will start taking me to meet locals and find housing should I come back and then gave a reiki treatment to Dafna (one of thetraumatized girls) and we went out to eat. Nice girl.Will do 2 more treatments for her..hope it helps.

Had a fairly peaceful day for the rest of the day. It is now 8:30 and finishing up here before going to dinner. Tomorrow I hope to get back up into the mountains after I treat Dafna...I miss my walks. Hope my knee and hip will be better this time.

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Sept 22-25, 2001-Just Stuff about Stuff

The last 3 days also went by with much pleasant activity...I gave 2 more treatments to Dafna...today more healing than Reiki, yesterday we also ate lunch together...would like to fix her up with Alon..very sweet and I will miss her. Dyanne is also leaving tomorrow but new people keep popping in and out. really nice.

I also worked at the newspaper today and proofread 7 articles. Wed they will have a couple more for me to work on.

This afternoon I went up to the Temple with Dyanne...very unpretentious, unassuming (this is something like Jews waiting for the temple to be rebuilt...they are always thinking of their temple in Llasa and don't want anything else in place of it hence the simplicity of this temple in exile)...heard some monks chanting, sat and relaxed awhile and just kind of took in the energy of the place. Hopefully the Dalai Lama will have an audience before I leave

On the way back, we saw an “Israeli Restaurant" and we went up. We had salad, hoummous and techina and pita and it was the best hoummous and tehina I've eaten in a long time...not just because I am in India...it was comparable to the best hoummous you get in a really good arab restaurant! It was a real treat! didn't imagine I would miss hoummous but I did!

Oh, forgot, yesterday I saw "Shrek" and except for the part where I cried, I didn't stop smiling or laughing out loud through the whole picture...there were some monks in there (this monk business is really funny...one day I will write about it)..you should have heard them cracking up! Eddie Murphy is fantastic!

Tomorrow there is a classical Indian Dance concert I hope to see.

Still don't know what will be with Reiki and my certificate I will be checking out long-term guesthouses for next year. Dafna insisted on paying me for her treatments and aside from taking me to lunch 2 times which I thought was her payment and which is why I let her do it, she also gave me 1,000 rupees which is alot forIndia. I think I could really make some nice money here teaching and treating.

I still have 2 weeks here but really am getting sad about having to leave. Maybe I'll still have time to come back. Very confused about what to do about my plane ticket...see if I get some answers soon. Put together all my shopping so far and it is TONS of stuff! Don’t know what to do with it. Maybe I'll ask Shlomo to take it home for me if he comes. so far it seems like he is...I think it will be mostly nice but I'm a little nervous about having someone in the roomwith me all the time.. Like this privacy of mine and with no TV etc..and my time all for me. Hope that when I get home I will still have time for me.

Yesterday was funny...I got the urge to dance and did it up on the penthouse roof for 1 hour. First time I missed dancing. It was fun dancing!!

My days have taken on a whole new character..spiritual work in the morning, reading alot during the day, lots and lots of walking...music all day, yoga in the afternoon, lots of quiet time...sometimes talking with people , sometimes just being alone. Lots of learning about me..I seem to attract very special types ofpeople to me and it is very pleasant to know that these are the vibrations I am giving off. Lots of young people seem drawn to me and I so enjoy being with them. They seem to think I am very "wise" and very special that I am here at all! I guess I am!!!

Also things here are very different in my perception than they were. I have 2 beggar "friends", lots of people already know me and smile at me in the streets, I walk next to and around cows (and whatever they leave behind them) without thinking twice about it, the monkeys are no different than dogs these days.

but the beauty of the mountains and trees and nature here is something you stay amazed at. It never gets to be “everyday" It is breathtaking all day, everyday. Can't see enough of it. and it is all around me no matter where I look. I still hope to get back up into the mountains to walk some more if my knee will let me.

So many things are no longer important to me...eyebrows, makeup, shaved legs, all seem like relics of a past life...hope I never feel the need to go back to these things but don't know what will happen when I leave here. How much will I change back when I get home? I must carry out my plans to come back here. This is what I need for me.

Sept. 25th.. 12:30 Just spoke to Joe...The newspaper editor...after checking out long term rentals...spoke to him about Akilesh and he told me he is well know here and was recently removed from the newspaper listings for that very reason. But no one did anything more about it. He says it could be uncomfortable to get involved especially since I think of coming back, but he suggested talking to the local "godfather" and he told me even how to find him. Think I'll do it!! He also told me where I can find some really nice apartments for long term...will see tomorrow (I checked them out today (today is wednesday-the next day) and they really are nice but in a veryinaccessible location so don’t' think they will serve mypurposes)

Today I am going up to Akilesh and hopefully willfinish...need to get this over with...want to end it in a way that I will feel comfortable with myself and my actions.

8 PM Well, GOT MY CERTIFICATE! Did a Reiki II initiation, answered all the right questions during the class, met 2 more really nice people and am now a Reiki Master.. Will still do this again I think with Daniella but for now I can start teaching. Will make up workbooks inHebrew and English, prepare certificates and get on with it. Too bad all this happened. He really should have been a good friend!! As I left today I looked him straight in the eye and said to him "Please be a good boy!" He looked all flustered but then gain his composure and said “Yes Mother...I will try and take your warning" Don’t know what he meant or what he understood about Iwill now do whatever I feel I have too. There were other people there so couldn't get any deeper into conversation with him which is probably for the best.

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Sept 27, 2001 Holy Swami’s and the Godfather

Well, a little out of order but have to tell you about yesterday.

What a long and beautiful and rewarding day!

Started at 9 AM at the newspaper and when I got there they were all eating breakfast and didn't think anything unusual about the fact that a volunteer had come to help them and she was just sitting and waiting for them to finish leisurely eating breakfast before bothering to turn on the computer and see what had to be done. So I patiently waited, reading a book, finished up the rest of the proofreading and headed on my way.

Up to bhagsu to make an appointment for my back. Something has happened to my lower back which is one of the few places on my body that I never have any trouble. And it is not getting any better. The massage therapist wasn't sure what was wrong but made an appointment for2:30.

then looked for the Godfather but he was not there...they told me to come back in the afternoon. Down again to McLeod, met the new lady who is staying in the room next door to me...something doesn't sit right about her...wrong energies or chemistry...don't know.. Then back up to Bhagsu, massage, which actually initially made my back feel more relaxed and less stiff but this morning woke up with the same stiffness there. Can hardly bend, can't lift my leg to put it into my pants etc. So yesterday she suggested a guy who does healing and I made an appointment for today at 3:30...maybe he can help. I know acupuncture would help but am not letting anybody put needles into me here in India.

Then, on my way down the hill home, a guy stopped me and asked if I am still looking for "Onkar" but I thought he was bugging me and asking me if I was looking for my "own car" and had no idea what he wanted from me. Finally I realized he was telling me that "Zonkar" (the godfather) was there. So I went over to meet this man.

He was sitting in all his glory with men around him overlooking the street at a table and chairs, outdoors. If I had to typecast someone to play him in a movie I would need across between a 50 something year old Al Pacino and Robert De Niro with 3 day beard put together. He looked like a real gangster but seemed very pleased to listen to me. Asked if we could talk in private and he took me into his office. Told him the story not completely sure if he actually understood me. Then he asked me to come back outside. He apparently likes to sit out there and hold court where everyone can go by and Namaste him etc .

I asked if he could think of something to do and he said "no problem..leave it to me...I will take care of it". I asked to not be involved as I plan to come back and don't want any enemies or hard feelings and he said"If anyone causes you any trouble, just come and see me!!" Anyway, in the end...with his broken English I understood that he is highly intelligent and very deep and he understood all the ramifications of this problem. He said, there are alot of "holy swami"people (he held his hands up in a prayer position in front of his chest to show this holiness) walking around here who appear to be pure and clean on the outside but are very bad and rotten on the inside (at which point he pointed to both his head and his heart and somewhat lower)....he understood EXACTLY what the problem was. Anyway...it is now in his hands and he said he will deal with it immediately...not to worry...and when I am ready to come back...just come see him and he will help me any way he can! And I believe him.

He called over some English girl who lives there for me to meet and when she heard the story she was very pleased I had finally said something. She has heard these stories before not just about him but many others here. Very sad. So I left feeling very good, knowing that I had done my best in a foreign place to help right a wrong and hope something will come of it. He actually said that if he doesn’t' stop this, he can even have him jailed but he will try first by just reasoning with him...

Then back to my room to "shower" off all the ayuverda oils, dinner, met Kelly on the street and so we strolled back together to the guesthouse and had a long talk. He was very pleased also to hear I had taken a definite action to try and do something and also thought I had done it the best way possible for a foreigner and that it might even help. It was a big decision making day for me and I feel"clean" and at peace and haven't felt that the last week or so.

I know some of you have written and told me it will not be possible to get back here in such a short period of time but I know that if that is what I really decide, it will happen. I've checked out all my options, Kelly will give me advice about what to bring and how to send stuff here I may need for a few month stay, I've got the godfather on my side, so what could go wrong? Now it all depends on what theUniverse has in store for me...but I think this is something that will happen and not later than April.

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Sept 29, 2001Frailty of the Physical Body and the Need to Go Home?

It is actually now Sunday and had an amazing morning but that will have to wait...
don't want to write out of order, but will tell you all that tomorrow the Dalai Lama
is having a public audience and I heard about it real real early this morning and got
there before the crowds...I am number 21 on line tomorrow to meet him!! Quite
excited...have no idea what will happen or what to do when I meet him but the whole
thing takes only a minute or two but many say it isvery powerful and moving...will let
you all know!

Back to yesterday:

Can't believe it! Dyanne...the fit and hearty lady-just called to tell me she is going home...her back went out and she said only this guy, ronen harariin Maagan Michail can take care
of it!! She said she'll be back but it is very frightening how fragile and unpredictable and unreliable the human physical body can be. She was just at the beginning of a year of traveling...hope she can continue once she feels better.

My back is getting worse every day...will write today to everyone I know who may
have suggestions...I would do acupuncture but no one here is putting needles into my
body. If I could find a chiropractor it would be good also but so far no one knows of
anyone. There isnothing I haven't tried yet...Reiki, Reiki to the past to find ""deep seated"emotional problems which may be arising now with all this inward introsepction
I am doing, healing, massages, exercise, chinese oil, reflexology, you name it...nothing
is helping (you all know already the end of this story) So far it is not keeping me from
doing what I want, except mountain walks, but it is very annoying and of course worries
me since I want to be free to completely enjoy myself here. Right now I am not traveling
or "shlepping"but in 10 days I will be back to that and that may be a problem...hope to find a solution before then

7:30 the same evening

Well, already wrote about seeing Sibi the ayuverda guy and Nicky sending Reiki.
I just finished seeing Akilesh again...asked to talk to me as his mother and friend...
says he has no friends here and needed advice. He's been having upper back problems and nothing helped...his friend who does Shiatsu told him it was because something is bothering
him that he keeps inside and he must let it out. so he didn't come right out and say it to
me but he basically knew that I knew about the other girls and asked if I will still be his
friend and that things will be OK from now on...Gave him another lecture...never admitted
that I reported him and he still thinks the other thing"is due to local politics, but he
apparently was shaken up enough to maybe, maybe try and change his ways.

While I was there I had always promised to show him pictures of my family but
never really felt like sharing anything private with him since that incident, but today he insisted...So I showed him the album, and aside form commenting over and over again
about what abeautiful family I have, how my parents look so healthy and vital, how my children and grandchildren are so beautiful etc., he said something very surprising and
very insightful "Now I know what your smile and face look like when you are REALLY happy!!..you are algow with happiness in these pictures...you realize that you will have
to go home soon...this is a very brave act you made by coming away for yourself...but
you will truly be happy again when you get home""
Sooooooooo.........

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My Role as Mother...and Thoughts on Beggars

MY ROLE AS “MOTHER”
Keep having these dreams and impressions about my role in life being a Mother. I remember even as a little girl (even though I didn't play with dolls...I was too much of a tomboy) I always imagined myself being a Mother "when I grow up". Of course, I always saw myself with lots of sons to play ball with and stuff but I only recently realized that all my daughters were God's way of putting me more in touch with my feminine side. I remember myself baby sitting, always taking care of babies and children, and even when I was all grown up, already a Mother still playing Mother to other mothers. As La Leche League always says "mothering the mother".

And the truth is, no matter what I do I become a mother figure to people. Even when I worked in MCP or MTRE,I was "the official Mother" at MTRE, with all the young kids, that's what I felt like and liked the role. And wherever I go, people seem to be attracted to me as a mother for there particular immediate needs. (I even got an e-mail today from Akilesh who addressed it "dear mom Jane"!!).

I see it even when I work with people at home with healing, bach flowers, Breastfeeding counseling, whatever, I fall into the role of wise Mother. Even here in India, most of the people I meet see me as Mother.

so, I've come to the conclusion that is the more specific role of my general life purpose of helping people. It is to help from the perspective of, or in the role of, gentle, loving , compassionate and unconditional loving Mother. And I like this idea! It has brought further clarity to my understanding myself and my purpose and direction. Even MY Mother has placed me in the role of "Mother" the last couple of years!!

BEGGARS

I had been having a lot of trouble with the beggar issue to ignore them and contribute a lump sum to some school or something before leaving. But on the street I felt horrible inside and so I finally decided to follow my heart and I've been giving 10 rupees toevery "honest" beggar I see. For me it is no money and I feel whole with myself now and know I am doing the right thing. I have my 2 special friends who I sit and "talk" with every so often and had our picture taken as well. They are really nice people who have been given a raw deal in life (they are lepers as aremost of the beggars in this town).and if I can make it a little easier for them, and many others here, why not! It could be in a big city like Delhi this approach is impossible, but here it is fine. To see their smiles each day and to hear their "good morning" when I pass...even on days when they know I am not giving anything, gives me great happiness and peace of mind.

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Sept. 30, 2001- Funniest Journey of My Life! Shared Jeep to Dharamsala

September 30th

I went down to Dharamsala to get the medicine for my back and was told the easiest way was in a shared jeep.

OK! Come to the jeep stand, saw one getting ready to leave but it seemed full already. But the driver told me to sit in the front seat...this seat, aside from the driver, is meant for 2 other people. There was already a big, broad guy sitting there taking up 1 1/2 seats so I sat down next to him assuming the jeep would take off since the last two rows were already filled up. The second one with 3 people and the back with 4 people.

Then another lady came and she told me move over(!)since 3 people are supposed to sit next to the driver. The other guy and me looked at each other in disbelief (he was also Israeli) but all the locals said “Yes, yes, 3 in front seat always". She was about twice my girth and started to squeeze her way in. The guy moved closer to the driver but the stick shift stopped his further moving. So the driver explained that he has to sit with the stick shift BETWEEN his legs and when he asked the driver how he would shift, he showed him by shoving his hand right between the poor guy's legs!!

So I moved over as far as humanly possible but this lady couldn't squeeze her behind in so she told me to stand up for a second (we were laughing by this time...it reminded me of the circus car where 20 clowns get out)...and so I lifted myself up towards the windshield and she settled her posterior into the seat leaving me enough room for about one "bum". I wriggled and jiggled until I forced myself back on the seat but it was really ridiculous. No way could we travel like that. All of a sudden a passenger from the back seat...a skinny man like me, after watching this whole act, comes forward and tells the lady to go in the back and he will sit there. So she got out, he sat 1/2 way on the seat leaning forward and it was now like taking all the animals out of the house...it seemed like there was tons of room to sit!

I was sure we would then head off as there was not a drop of room for anything else but the driver says we have to wait for one more person. I couldn't imagine where he would be "put" since this fat lady was already suffocating 2 other ladies on the seat behind. When all of a sudden a young Chabadnik (Hasid in black clothes and hat) comes running along, Tzitzit (prayer fringes attached to shirt like garment worn under regular shirt) flying, holding onto his hat and goes directly to the back door and plunks himself down 1/2 on the fat ladies lap. Slides the door closed and that's the way we left. He was half sitting on the lady and all hunched together in order to close thedoor...it was really really funny.!

Coming home I took a bus !!

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Oct. 1, 2001- Meeting HH the Dalai Lama...and Pizza!

12:30 AM

Got up this morning, and darya came to meet me to go off together to the Dalai Lama, ate breakfast together in my room, checked train tickets, stopped to check the newspaper office and down to the temple.

It was all surprisingly quiet and orderly. We lined up according to our number...we were 21 and 22, were frisked and then went up to wait in a courtyard for about 45 minutes. We were luckily in the shade and it was not too bad.

Sat on the floor finally and then they ushered the whole crowd of hundreds of peopleinto a single file line and we all walked passed His Holiness, shook hands, got a red string from a monk and left.

Now this all sounds very undramatic and banal and I don't know how other people felt, but I personally had a strange experience after seeing him and shaking hands. My whole body started to tingle with electric energy and I had an overwhelming urge to cry followed by a sudden wave of calm which enveloped me and I smiled broadly. The tingling in my body lasted about 5 minutes but for more than 1/2 hour I had enormous heat and energy surging and accumulating in my hands, which had turned red and it was quite uncomfortable, as if I had to plunge them in coldwater. The heat eventually dissipated and life got back to "normal".

Went to lunch and today met 3 new people, Guy, Sigal and Rani, won't go into details now, maybe tomorrow...but all 3 are in their 30's and have interesting stories. Now this evening, they decided to go to this very famous Pizzeria out in the middle of nowhere and I decided to join them. Again, no details now, I am too tired, but it was a fantastic adventure and again, I played the Mother role...all in all, I walked over 2 hours through pitch black mountains with no roads or even path, using a flashlite most of the way to eat Pizza!! more tomorrow.

Can't believe I have to leave here in a week!! Met 2 Australians today who left yesterday, got to the train station in Panthankot like I will be doing next week...and just before the train pulled out, they got off, forfeited their tickets and came back here for another week. This place has magnetic energy which doesn't release you! It is really going to be hard for me to leave. I feel like I don't need anything else in life but this room...even without a shower to be content...at least I know I will be back.

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IMPRESSIONS AND OBSERVATIONS FROM INDIA

Children, Garbage, Beggars, Packages, Interesting Jobs and Restaurants

1. Men here are sooooooo comfortable with children and babies it is beautiful to see
...maybe it is just here where they are mostly Tibetans, but it is so beautiful to walk through the streets and see men playing with babies and children...if a child cries, you will see men just as naturally as women run to pick it up and comfort it. Children are so loved here it is a pleasure to walk through the streets and see and feel the love for them. Like now, a woman is sitting using a computer here and the owner of the shop is sitting and playing with her baby for her...and now the baby is crying and so another man just approached to assist him...no panic, no running back
to mommy with him, really nice...and this is not a baby they know, just the baby of a customer...OK, mommy now has finished and taken him back...

2. Garbage collection! -
One day, starting early in the morning I heard every few minutes a loudspeaker announcing something from the streets below and finally asked the guy here what they were saying...maybe the area was being attached from Kashmir or it was an earthquake warning...you never know!! He told me it is garbage collection... they yell to the houses that they are passing through and
to come and dump your garbage...OK so far...a couple of days later I was sitting and waiting for the whole newspaper staff to finish breakfast so I could start working and they work out of a local restaurant and were also eating together with 4 women who work there...when the loudspeaker started outside...all of a sudden, all 7 people jump up from eating (remember, they didn't even move to turn on the computer for me while they were eating) and each ran in a different direction, laughing and giggling, and grabbed garbage from all different corners, ran down to the street, dumped it and came very casually back upstairs, all washed their hands and relaxed back to breakfast as if nothing had happened. Later that day in the street I saw the same thing over and over again as the truck passed, and people from all over , the street, shops,
upstairs apartments, ran down to throw their garbage into the truck!

3. Ordering in Restaurants.
When you go into most restaurants here (except the really really fancy ones and even some of those) you are handed a menu (or you take it yourself off the rack) plus a pencil and piece of scrap paper. Each person writes his own order and the kitchen guys just come around and pick them up making sure they are readable. When you are ready to pay, you find the order you wrote and just show it to the cashier who then tells you how much it cost.

4. Beggars can be very friendly people.
There are my two friends...man and woman, lepers, who I pass everyday at least 2 times a day. They sit on this spot together and are always happy and smiling...say "good day" every time they see me...money or not... they joke and fool around with each other all day. I wouldn't be surprised if they go :"home" together at the end of the work day. One day, they were sitting
and laughing as usual when a whole bunch of monkeys filled a tree above them. The guy picked up his umbrella and started to "shoot" them out of the trees. The lady thought this was so funny she couldn't stop laughing. Next day I went by and asked how many monkeys he killed today and the two of them cracked up again. How they can even think of smiling I don't know, but they have certainly found the way to happiness without pleasure...and true happiness brings pleasure by itself.!

4. SENDING PACKAGES:

Shlepp to the special guy who gets the packages ready for mailing since you could never do it yourself. I had 10 KILO to carry down so it took me 2 trips.

1. fill out forms in triplicate but there is no carbon paper!

2. Guy puts stuff in box and then sews a special muslim "bag" around it, sews it up and then seals it with special red sealing wax which he drips on with a lighted candle and seals with his spit!! Without this special wax the post office will not accept the package. He even admitted it was a "little" primitive but "this is the only way the PO accepts package" Takes about 1/2 hour.

3. Then address the package, pay him and it's on it's way. Come back tomorrow to get receipt.

4. Now this all sounds simple but it took 2 1/2 hours of my morning to complete the process. Sent by air mail it takes about 2-3 weeks to arrive. I have to still send another package of books. Still easier then doing it in Delhi where you have to do all the running yourself from PO to show original package and have its contents approved to fill in the forms, then go to tailor to make the bag and back to PO (all the time shlepping the package with you from place to place) to seal and address and each time you have to wait on line., The guy here makes a living doing this and has been at it here for 6 years. And he only charges 60 rupees for the service!

5. Earning a living..
Tibetans work hard to provide for their families. Spoke to a couple of women merchants - most of the shops are run by women...seems that many of them pack up their entire stock and take
it by train all the way down south for the 3 winter months when there are no tourist here and open shop down south. When I asked if is not hard for the children to change schools each year in the middle of the year, they explained that the families (husband and wife together) that go south, leave their children who are cared for by neighbors during those months. It seems to them the most natural thing and it is very common here.

Then there is the little girl who puts on a full circus acrobat and high wire act on the street corners.. her mother (not father who is also there but his big job is to beat a drum) drives stakes into holes in the street and puts up this temporary high wire and then while daddy is beating a drum she bangs on the back of a metal bowl while breastfeeding the younger child and this little girl (about 6-7) goes through her act...quite well done and scary if she should fall on the pavement below. And then they pass around a plate...I've seen them in 3 different locations since I've been here. It seems like a horrible thing to make a little girl do but I guess it is better than those who shlep their babies around, dirty, starving all day on their hips, begging for
money!! At least this family was clean, well fed and had some semblance of pride and a normal life.

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Oct. 2-3, 2001-Children Here are Surrounded with Love and Acceptance-and the Monkeys Were at it Again

Well, it is actually October 3rd but I am writing up a letter about yesterday...first I thought I wouldn't doit since I have no desire to do anything right now...just heard the news about Aley Sinai (the settlement one of my daughters lives in). The place was attacked by terrorists last evening (my mother already wrote to let me know they are OK) and many people were injured and 2 people killed. My daughter's best friend and neighbor and her husband were injured and are in hospital. I am really feeling depressed that I am so far away at this time but will call them soon... wish I could talk to them...this is hard.

But since the letter is already written and I have just have to copy it...have decided to stay up to dat ewith my letter writing so here it is...

October 2nd
How I wish this was just the beginning of my stay here! Been meeting lots of local foreigners who live here and it is really a nice community. Today I have to put together a package to send off. Decided not to buy any crystals here. Will do it at home or next time I come or maybe just get some colored ones regardless of type and see...need to learn more first about them.

Next met this Dutch lady (who lives all the way up in the mountain - I will be going up on Sunday to visit her with Kelly...he says it is an easy 1 hour walk!)and met her together with Kelly for lunch and he arranged a surprise for her. A girl who left here pregnant 2 "seasons" ago came back today with her 1 year old 1/2 Tibetan daughter (she's Swiss) and they came in and surprised her in the restaurent. You should have seen the tears. These people have all been here for around 10 years. They finally convinced me to hike up to visit her so on Sunday Kelly will take me
I will not go up the mountain again today as it is overcast and looks like it may rain. Tomorrow I MUST do it (I DID it and will write later about the hike!) This girl with the baby says in Switzerland no problem to give the baby hep. A and B and thypoid shots at one year old and baby looks fine to me.

Today I really saw the community way babies are loved here. In the restaurant everyone there watched and played with this little girl-already walking-and since she is used to this she was happy with all the attention...and men, young and old were just as involved, if not more so, than other women. it is absolutely a beautiful way for a child to grow up so surrounded with acceptance and love. It reminded me of Shaked (my granddaughter) running around in a restaurant we all came to following my son's Shai's"tekes" (swearing in ceremony for the Army) but there she was sort of "in the way" and not really accepted and if she had done the same thing here in THIS restaurant-everyone would have considered her the highlight of their day and smiled and laughed and picked her up and played with her... What a difference in approach..no wonder all these people are so calm and relaxed despite their difficult lives and the children always smiling. Come to think of it, I've neverheard a child cry or whine or a parent shout or scold here.

4 PM..The funniest thing just happen.. Was sitting out on the terrace as I do most afternoons just reading and eating fruit and almonds and pistachios when a monkey came right up to me and like some of the beggars in the street stuck his hand out as if demanding he be given something. I shooed him away when all of asudden I realized that they were all around, up on top of the roof etc, So I got up to take the stuff inside and they kept watching as if waiting for something to drop and slowly closing in on me. I was really scared...but I'm in the room now and all is well!.. Now one just tried getting into my barred window!! what chutzpah!!

Well, that's the letter for today...I wanted to write about my hike...that was my intention in coming down to the e-mail...but need to absorb the news about Aley Sinai right now...
Hopefully will write tomorrow about this most exhilierating feeling of having dispelled a long held myth I believed about myself.

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Oct. 3, 2001 Aley Sinai Terrorist Attack / Dispelling a Myth

Well, it is difficult to write to day, the day after and after many e-mails and phone calls home I have decided not to make a decision about coming yet for the next few days.

But it has been one of the most trying experiences of my life...being here, so far away, and not being even able to hug and hold my daughter in my arms, is more difficult for me ...it is almost a physical pain, this emptiness I am feeling...I should be there but of course I am not...there is no way I CAN be there right now and the decision to come home or not will be based on what happens to my daughter and her family over the next few days.

While roaming around in a complete daze yesterday, I had many mixed feelings about the situation and kept wondering if I could continue enjoying myself here without feeling guilty...I turned to God for help in find answers and also in helping me get over this confusion and inability to think...what difference would my presence there actually make in their situation right now...and I could not get there for a few days anyway...real confusion reigned and a feeling of total helplessness...anyway, while walking aimlessly through the streets, my name is called and a woman who I had met in Leh, the mother of Shlomit's friend Naama, came up to me. They had just arrived here and even funnier, by chance were staying in the same guest house as I am.

We spoke for a long time, then I also went up to speak with Kelly, my American friend, and some other people I know here, and what I learned is that even here, so far from home, there are people who care about me and spent the whole afternoon and evening helping me get through this really difficult day.

In the evening I spoke to Shira again, and now am more relaxed as she said they are going home...the kids really wanted to get back home which I guess is a good sign, and probably getting back to "normal" is the best thing to do. After the miracle of their leaving the living room for no reason just seconds before it was splayed with bullets, is something I think they have not as yet absorbed, but hopefully, by going home and being with their neighbors and friends there and in their own environment, the trauma will be eased. Hopefully professionals will also be available to help the families cope with the situation.

I just read the Jerusalem Post and the following quote was there!

"Shira Avni left with her three children to stay with her sister in Kfar Pines. "Shots were fired at our house and my husband immediately notified the security forces," she said. "Our next door neighbors, Sarita and Dror Maoz, were wounded - the terrorists sprayed their home with gunfire. At the time their three children were sleeping. I hid in the room with my children as my husband joined the security forces," she said.

"Because the government has always treated the community as temporary, suggesting that if an agreement is reached it will be dismantled, our requests to erect a fence were never taken seriously," she added. "It all comes down to politics." ""

Very strange to see her name written in print and to feel from the article that she is calm and collected, but I know that is not the case from talking to her on the phone. I hope she will get over this and get back to some semblance of a normal, fear free life. I wonder if they will continue living there? This is not the first time there have been problems there but it is certainly the worst of all previous incidence.

As for myself, finding myself so helpless as a Mother is almost devastating to me, but on the other hand, knowing that so many people both at home and here are around to help me get over this, gives me a very warm feeling. Maybe this is His way of preparing me for being away from home for a longer period of time and showing me that life goes on with or without me.

I cannot say that I am really happy today, but I am alot calmer and less confused than I was yesterday and I guess that's the best I can expect at the moment. I wanted to write about the walk I had yesterday up into the mountains but it seems so trivial now. It was something which dispelled a myth about myself that I had believed since I was a little girl and at some point became an actual walking meditation bringing up all kinds of images in recall from my very early childhood. I had always believed, and did so up until yesterday, that I could not walk or hike etc. like most people since for some reason my constitution would not allow it.

Well I found out differently yesterday after walking for 3 hours up and down the mountain, /....hopefully I will write more about my feelings but right now, as I said, it mostly seems trivial even though I had, before checking the e-mail yesterday, the most exhilarating feeling I've had in more years than I can remember. It has kind of been overshadowed by what followed, but not wiped out...the feeling is still smoldering somewhere inside and Iimagine will re-surface to be experienced to the fullest at some later date and then I will write about it more fully.

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