Jane's India Journals

Journals from 2001, 2003 and 2004

Saturday, August 26, 2006

2004-First Post from Delhi

I am posting here all of my 3 journals from my first 3 trips to India. You can pick and choose according to title what seems more interesting, or just read them through from beginning to end, stopping at the places that interest you more and skipping over the boring stuff. The first 2 trips, which I haven't posted yet, are actually alot more interesting as far as travel stuff goes.
Enjoy...
This will be short. I am in Delhi and tried writing yesterday but the connection was unbearably slow and the heat unbearable!...so I am doing it today but things are still slow so I will keep this short.All is well first of all and it is truly great to be back here. The flight was fine but something was wrong with the AC....for me it was great but most people were too warm!
I am also having trouble with the writing on this comuter and hope you all manage to read this easily. I will just tell you that I met a lovely lady on the plane, who sat next to me, from Kfar Haroeh, knows Irene Brug and Esther Rosenbaum very well, even produced one of her son's Uriel's plays (she herself is a drama teacher aong other things)...will write more in my next ltetter but it seems like I was sent to help her through her first couple of days in India and make sure she gets to a suitable place for the chagim....she is religious and thought of sitting in the main bazaar of delhi until after shabbat! she is now coing with me up to Dharamkot and I got her a room near Beit chabad and she is quite please.
More when I am seated at a normal computer.
I went shopping today at Fab India and bought lots of nice clothing and tonight we are off by train to Pathankot...
To all those I haven't re;plied to personally, please excuse me for a few days and then I will write to all of you.
I hope to write before the chag tomorrow but not sure if I will manage so if not, one last shana tova to all and looking forward to hearing from all of you and replying over the next few days.
all my love jane
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September 18, 2004-Friends...Old and New

HiAll,
Saturday, 18th September
Well, first of all, if I have the energy, this will be a big catching up e-mail and hope to make it to the end...forgive any keyboard mistakes like attached words etc. The keyboard here is not very good. I am also going to do something now which may really be not very nice, and hope to correct the situation within a few days, but if I don't manage, I want all those who have birthdays now to know that I am thinking of each and every one of you on your own special day this month and wishing you only wonderful things for the next year, but don't know if I will manage to send a personal card to each of you: Moshe, Ravin, Chana, Ori.....
I also apologize to all of those who have been so kind to write to me...I love your letters and love feeling close to you, and hope to reply to each of you separately, but for now, you know who you are and I thank you.
Now...down to work...The last couple of days have been so full and rewarding...seeing old friends, making new ones, eating good food, and just getting it "all together"....I will try and go back to the last time I wrote which was just beofre lunch on Thursday. It is now 2 days later and so here goes...
Just after writing my last letter I got to Nick's restaurant 2 seconds before a REAL monsoon rain set in. Got a seat just before everyone came in from downstairs...and all of a sudden, just sitting there, I was overwhelmed by tears of joy and gratitude that I am here...with momo soup in front of me, and the cold chill of the monsoon surrounding me, I couldn't be happier!
When I got back up to t he room after lunch, found Abdellah awake and spent the afternoon cleaning and unpacking and we just talked and talked --he is really a great person and so much fun to be with...never a dull moment...too bad he is leaving. But seems he never "connected" with the place and is off now to an ashram in the south to study Kriya yoga which I never actually heard of but after speaking with him it seems very much like what I do with much bandha work, pranayama and meditation...he feels this will be his way to get closer to G-d. He gave me lots of books and I also bought a few earlier in the day so I am set. No way I willl ever do all I want to here. It just always seems like the days are too short and they go by too quickly here!! We later went out for dinner and just spoke until quite late, both of us collapsing into bed but finding it impossible to sleep.
Turns out he was also up until almost midnite reading but I was up bright and early the next morning (yesterday) to glorious sunshine pouring into my room. Did my morning stuff, "showered" (and interesting term for the way I've worked out to get clean and warm up all at the same time in a shower with no pressure-partially using a bucket and partially the telephone shower, but it works OK and I will manage). Went down for breakfast and met 3 nice young Israelis also just recently arrived here, one actually 28 and married for 6 years, yemenite, who just decided to get up and go toIndia for a couple of months. Her mother thinks it is horrible but her husband is very supportive. Then it was up to Dharamkot to confront Anil, the young 31 year old Indian who asked me to come live with him last year and managed to find someone who had my mobile phone number and has been calling me regularly in Israel the whole year.
I was relly worried that he was obsessed and I would have a problem but I had to speak to him. He KNOWS about Avik but was still entertaining ideas of whatever when I arrived. So went up quite worried that morning, bu thad asked for help direction and guidance the nite before and things went wonderfully well. The air was cleared with no hassle or ill feeling and no one being hurt and we remain friends. I explained that being in a relationship was sacred to me nd I could not act as many people do when they are away from home and do whatever they feel like ( I didn't really "feel like" anything anyway but this was not something I wanted to get into with him)...It seems he really IS in love with and was actually happy that I had said this because if not, he said he would have lost respect for me and could no longer love me as one of the reasons he loves me is beacuse I am different from most other women and very honest in all I do. He says he loves me even more now but understand the reality of the situation and always believes that all things are for the best. He said he promises never to hassle me again and would like to just be friends and talk with me about life. He quite surprised me with the depth of his feelings and understanding of the situation and my feelings about it. In a couple of years he knows that he will be in an arranged marriage with a local girl and he said it was a blessing for him to have known what true love feels like, even if nothing was ever done about it. He asked for a hug which I obliged him with and with his head coming just up to my chest it was quite funny...like holding a young child...But I could feel his love coming through with the hug and the look of great joy on his face afterwards was worth it. He says he has been waiting for that since he first saw me in 2001!. Imagine! (Note: 2006....Anil called about 1/2 year ago to tell me he is married and when I come back, I must come visit him and his wife!- as you will see from future posts here, all of the above was difficult for him to put into action...and he did continue to hassle me a few more times!!)
11:30 PM....same day
When we came back from our walk, him beaming all the way - Anette was sitting at the tea house (Anette is the lady I met on the train whoYonina and I shared the taxi with from Pathankot. She is a GORGEOUS, stunning Swedish lady in her 40's - absolutely stunning - who came to India , her 5th trip, to meet an Indian Kashmiri friend in McLeod and go with him to Srinagar in Kashmir for his cousins wedding. Her sotry is that her husband has loved India forever and first came in 1969 by hitchhiking, walking and train before there were flights, from Holland. and came every year - she only started coming about 7 years ago when their daughter got older. and 3 years ago on her 3rd trip I think, with him, she had to go home to Sweden before him and he stayed in his favorite place in North Goa for a nother week or so...and suddenly died here of a heart attack at the age of 50! She is just now putting her life back together). Anyway, we met and decided to go look for Yonina in Dharmkot togehter. She was not in her room (same room at Paul House that I had last year...the guy there remembered me and even asked how all 6 of my children and "many" grandchildren were. Ah...before that, on the way, I bumped into Russel, the guy I met last year who thinks he is the Messiah (!)...he's the one who gave Anil my mobile phone number by the way. And he was also so pleased to see me...but I couldn't stay to talk - anette and I walked across the mountain to Bhagsu and had lunch there and spoke for quite awhile. She is quite a fantastic women-also a professional photographyer taking pictures particularlyof people (I've been without my camera since I got here !)...and then we walked back to McLEod...Iwas relly zonked by then - still with a slight headache (finally gone by this morning...) and went straight to sleep after telling Abdellah the outcome of the meeting with Anil.
Ahish also brought me a gas balloon and burner so now I can fix up the kitchen and do some of my own cooking if I feel like. Figure mostly soups and pasta...simple stuff...
I slept for 2 hours and when I woke up, feeling still quite tired and headachy, Dafna came up to see me and we caught up with each other since we last spoke 3 years ago. Then Abdellah and I, both starving, went to eat at the Japanese place. Great place as always. On the way back I bumped into my friend Gill who I had planned to visit tomorrow (I am now here in his internet place after spending about a 1 1/2 talking to him about everything and anything...another great guy who helped me alot last year when all my stuff was stolen...we enjoy each others company and he is quite incisive...he came to the decision that this life is my final birth and I will be rid of all bad karma etc. in this lifetime)...
We got back to Kailwood and had some tea and then decided to watch a movie-Abdellah has a laptop with great screen and he uses it to see movies. He has an enormous collection here...Iwanted something light so we saw Planes, Trains and Busses with Steve Martin and John Candy and it was the perfect end to a lovely day.
I got up early this morning, had breakfast of great apple buns and chicory coffee and marmelade with Abdellah and finally, after being very lazy,. got on my way out to visit gill and get off these letters. Hopefully I will shop for veggies on the way home and make some vegetable soup tonight, but now there is a real monsoon storm now outside and no way I am leaving here for now.
I was thinking of going up to bhagsu where there is a real nice grocery shop to stock up the kitchen, but doesn't look possible today. Well, you never know...it could clear up just as suddenly as it began.
All in all, I woke up feeling much better today , and my headache is finally gone. I am now convinced that it was definitely a result of the altitude, which never bothered me in the past, even in Leh, but I arrived in a really run down state and perhpas that was the result. I also found my pranayama (Yoga breathing ) excercies much easier this morning and guess all is now back in balance.
So I will end this now and get some more letter writing in while the rain continues...(just ran out to use the toilet upstairs and was out for a few seconds and am drenched!!
I don't think I will be writing each and everyday as you;'ve become used to so, please don't worry if I don't write. It is a good sign that I am just relaxing and using the time for better things.
My love to all....Jane
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September 21,2004-What a Life!

Tuesday…21st September..
Dear All,
The internet is really bad today so have decided to get this all typed up as a word document and then hopefully be able to send it off later…but there is already a backlog of stuff to write as you will see, and just decided that today I will do it.
So…back to wehre we last left off…if I’m repeating myself, you’ll just have to forgive me…
Saturday-5 PM..
Just back after waiting out the rain for 2 hours at the internet place. Picked up some cakes at Nick’s and hoped to have tea and cake with Abdellah but he is not back…but he gave me the h\key to his room so went in and borrowed some "coffee drink" similar to Chico and honey. Boiled up water on my own burner and am now sitting in the curve of the bay window with a good book, drink and banana cake, chopin waltzes playing in the background, smell of insense wafting through the air, rumble of distant thunder and patter of light drizzle with splendid mountain view in front of me, topped by cldar blue sky with soft white and grey clouds, and down below, the valley is gleaming with sunshine. I am truly blessed.
Read for awhile, did yoga, soon will put together light supper with Abdellah and then movie time! What a life!
Sunday….
Saw Billie Elliot last night, read and off to sleep. Slept well, woke up again to glorious sunshine which again disappeared by 11. But up to Bhagsu to "supermarket" to stock up the kitchen as well as market for veggies…and then of course the rains came! This time I was in a restaurant with lovely young girls…British/Uisraleli on vacation…very sweet. Finally home, rest, saw Kelly again when I got back…he was visiting Abdellah and it was good to see him again if only for a few minutes…I stays mainly to himself but when we do meet up it is really pleasant. Perhaps we will manage a walk or something this year. If not, just knowing he’s around is a good feeling.
Did my first cooking…vegetable soup which we just finished eating and tonight we see Chicago!. In between I’m reading this fabulous book Abdellah gave me about an entirely new frequency of healing called the ""Reconnection""..and it fits in so well with the new Reiki work I'’e been doing. Everything seems to be coming around full circle.
I feel like I am on "borrowed time" - already a whole week of my 3 weeks alone is up….and the experience of "being" here with someone else will be new to me. This time alone is very precious to me and it seems like each day goes by too quickly and the days just disappear…I’ve actually never spent time here in McLeod with anyone else and it is going to be a whole different thing once Avik gets here…I’m curious how things will work themselves out, but have a feeling we will each have still much time to ourselves, as I’m not really into any of the "things" to do here anymore, and Avik will find LOTS of things which will all be new to him. I also hope Avik and Abdellah get on well so we can conitnue spending time together comfrotably as we have until now. I did some "scanning" on him today and could not believe the size and strength of his Aura….he is truly a very special person…not like anyone I’ve ever met, and so comfortable to be with…we can spend hours together and never get tired of each other’s company.
Don’t know if I mentioned my meeting with Gill yesterday…think I did…but here is another really special person who has been brought into my life…the blessings are without end.
Tomorrow Yonina is coming down from Dharamkot to visit. Should be nice. We can either eat leftover veggie soup or go out for lunch. Either way, it will be a nice day and I’ll show her around town.
Well…gotta go now..movie time.
Still have to get to Tashi, Shajar’s friend here in town. Hopefully will do that tomrorow when I also go down to Dondup (In the end the monsoon prevented this also…perhaps today if I ever finish catching up on letter writing…) the physiotherapist to make an appointment. They are near each other.
Monday….had a channeling this morning…if anyone is interested, let me know in a letter and I will send it on to you…but it was a very calming thing for me this morning….
Had a great day today with Yonina…another truly special person….We walked around town until the rain caught us and stopped into a shop where we bought some unusually beautiful shawels…While there, I had to use a toilet so the guy took me up to the pool hall upstiars…first time I felt it was a shame I didn’t have my camera with me…the whole pool hall was filled with mostly monks shooting pool…what a picture!
After spenidng two hours with this guy, since we couldn’t leave as the whole street was a river, he convinced me where I hope to go when Avik is here and we finally have to leave this area...A place I'’e heard wonderful things about but was always told it was too dangerous...Srinagar in Kashmir...and stay on a houseboat...it looks like ladakh from the pictures only all green and it is only 10-12 hours from here by taxi or jeep. The lady Anette I met on the train is there now also, and will be back in a few days so I will also hear from her how it was. This is why you never make plans from day to day in India…so many new ideas come along and you have to consider all of them and as the time gets closer you make the decision which seems most appropriate at the moment. But good to have many options…
This monsoon is hanging in and the prediciton is for it to last a little longer than usual.
Tuesday Morning.
NO MORE MOVIES FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS!!! I’ve been overdosed!… and no more fresh b3read and jam and aple rolls and fruit tarts…ordered my regular breakfast of muesli, fruit and curd today!…
Last night we saw Passage to India which was great, but I really need a break.
Ashish warned me to lock my door even when I’m just next door with Abdellah…he came up last night just to check that all was well and saw my door unlocked and assumed I was in my room…only later did he realize I was with Abdellah ….he was very stern with me and he is right! Will I ever learn?
I’m so tired this morning…will have to get back on track.
Met a guy last evening named Vinny…looks in his late 50’s or 60’s…ex German living here for the past 11 years. Friend of the twins who came up to visit Abdellah and found us while we were eating dinner and he joined us. Strange person but very interesting to talk ot…many strange people live up here actually…guess I’m strange in my own way as well for spenidng as much time as I do here and wishing it could be even more.
This has beena whole different kind of trip for me. I knew it would be so when I left but didn’t know in what way the difference would manifest itself. First of all, I have NO NEED for my camera or, believe it or not, to even LOOK at a computer!! But I know I’ll be upset with myself if I have tow rite up a lot all at once time so today I will FORCE myself to go in and do this! I can actually use abdellah’s laptop to write up this stuff but I can’t find rewritable CD’s here… maybe I’ll have avik bring me some from home…then I can just burn them on the laptop and bring them down here and send them off!
Secondly, since I have a kitchen and Abdellah here, we eat breakfast and dinner up on the roof each day here and so I mostly just eat one meal out, and if I was like many people, I probably woulnd’t even need that mid-day meal. But it means I do less "casual socializing" than I have in the past and that is also OK> Lots of old friends now to see and so I have less need for chance meetings,. Dafna will be back in a few days, as will Anette, and Gill is here, Yonina, Abdellah, Kelly…Plenty of people to be with if I have th eneed for company.
I’ve also not yet done any walking on the mountaing but this is par for the course when I first arrive (I don’t count the walk up to Dharmakot last week, across the mountain to bhagsu and down to McLeod, or the walk up to Bhagsu to shop the other day…this is just like walking around the block back home)
It’s been as close as "beten-gav" (Israeli expression for doingi absolutely nothing while on vacation) as you could get for me I guess. Really lazy and I guess this is what I need right now.
I will end this now and get it off to all of you….New day ahead of me including an appointment at Dondup at 4 …my knees seem to be bothering me…but he’ll take care of them. Gill is also supposed to be checking out a local Ayurveda professor for me in Dharamsala and hope to see him soon as well.
I don’t know when I will write again , but enjoy finding your letters waiting for me….I think, at least for now, the letters will be m,ore like this…every few days…
My love to all…and my dearest children!!! Let me hear from you!!!!
Jane
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September 19-26 Gill and Palm Reading

Tuesday...1 PM
(Today is actually Friday so this will be a long letter....hope I get it all done today)
After the harrowing 1 1/2 hours at the computer, I've actually settled down in a restaurant I've never tried before. It's right next door to Nick's, run by Tibetans, a really samll place but very clean, and I've always heard great music coming from here even while sitting at Nicks. the prices are good and they have a nice menu...and also sell filtered water which I must start buying so I don't use so many plastic bottles ( believe it or not, it is finally illegal here to use plastic bags...they've been working on that for a few years already) I think I will enjoy trying out new things here...very peaceful, facing the montain...quiet, clean...ray charles palying now...BJ's...Just got my order of veg/tofu pasta...really good...they have good tibetan brown bread as well...HaWKS flying overhead...really beautiful and very glad I found it....tears again...energies always moving and flowing...really nice...Went to Dondup for massage in the afternoon and he FORGOT me. Had a class. was very upset about it but I just made an appointment for the next day (Wednesday) and then spent time again with Gill. We discussed everything and anything, politics, marriage, Tibetan/Indian relationship, pros and cons of tourism etc. and in the Indian astrology and zodiac etc. and then he read my palm. Some interesting things...like the guy last year couldn't beleieve that in one hand (one person) there was so much of the extreme and stubborn with such a good, kind, loving, giving, compassionate, understanding (etc. etc) heart. Said he'd never seen that combination before and it is the reason why all things sseem so complicated and difficult to me in life and, combined with my extreme inttellectual capabiliteis, the reason I have so many vissisitudes (yes, that's the word he used)...and why all my lessons are difficult in the learning. He also said I would always be self-sufficient and must never realy on tohers to take care of me. That the hard times are over for me and only good things await me from this point in life. good health, less difficulties tec. That I spent 25 years with the wrong man, had one great love and there will be one more great love in my life at some time to come. those of you who remember ythe guy in Chennai last year will rmember a very similar reading. He spoke of "the thrid one" in my life and pretty much said the same about the rest. And Gill never studied this...His father is a well known astrologer and palm reader and he says he himslef (gill) has been doing this naturally since he is a child.
After came back to the room, Yonina came up again nd the three of us had a fascinating discussion about religion and feminism. Seems this group she belongs to is muslim, christian and jewish RELIGIOUS ladies working to make changes for women through knowledge from withing th religion. She also belongs to a group called "Lolech" in Israel. She left after a couple of hours and we had a lite supper (3rd day of veggie soup finally finished) and early to bed.
Wednesday I was up at 6:30 as is my habit and by the time I had woken Abdellah at 9, I had already done my morning stuff, preprared fresh tomato sauce for dinner, cleaned the room, and washed some clothes...nice getting up early.
I then had my massage and physio treatment. It was even better than I remembered and he is still taking only 250 rupees which is unheard of here...all take 500 at least. Have another appt. on Saturday. Then abdellah and I went up to Beit Chabad where Yonina told us there was still fresh forzen chicekn that Dror had killed before the chag. He might sell us some...we have been wanting to make chicken soup and kneidlach(you may remember from last year this is abdellahs very favorite food...) and sure enough, we found the new Chabad place (an expanse of concrete and brick perched on the mouintain, enormous, 3 sotires high, just being built monstrosity) and Dror of course remembered me and in the end agreed to give us a big bag of whatever he still had...for free (there is always the Kupat Tzedaka if you like)...which we did). Turns out when it defrosted we had 2 kilo of "gav off" backs bones tec. and necks which is perfect for soup. Gave 1/2 to Ashish and thursday we will cook it.
Had nocchi /tomato sauce for dinner and then saw "contact" with Jodie Foster. Fabulous movie idea but a little too hollywood. But the type of things I like...based on Carl Sagan's book and released just after his death. I remember watching his programs years ago on TV when he would pnder the Universe as a scientist but always question extraterrestrial life...and a line in the movie sounds like something I could imagine him saying "If there is no other life out there, it would be an awful waste of space".
And then it was thursday morning!
I have always been curious about the Buddhist studies at the Tibetan library which are held each day...2 lessons...taught by mopnks and traslated for the 15 years by an english speaking lady. And Abdellah goes each morning...so today (yestereday) I am finally going to see what it is like. And guess what the subject is this month? PATIENCE!...And this is exactly the thing I was told I must have plenty of for the coming period of my life in the channeling I received 2 days ago. so looks like I am going for the right lessons...
more later...I am really tired....
Gmar Hatima Tova to everyone
My love...Jane
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Buddhist Lesson, Physical Condition, Abdellah, Tashi and Anil!

Hi All,
Well, today is Sunday but I have to go back to where I last left off and catch up here...Which is back to the day I went to the library to check out the Buddhist philosophy classes with abdellah.

aside: just a quick note...I've been having a lovely breakfast each morning for the past week or so. Abdellah couldn't resist the guys selling apples everyday outside the library, so each day he brough a bagful, and I had to have something to do with all of them. Then I remembered something my mother used to make for me when I was little. Grated apples with raisins and honey. Well, I had just purchased a grater so I could make potato kugel and so I've been eating now grated apples, raisins, almonds which I cut up inside and then crumble a granola bar for lack of granola...quite delicious.
OK...back to catching up:
Well, the walk down to the library was my first good walk since I got here and the lesson was interesting to say the least. First was some chanting and I just did some meditation and then the lesson started. Nice older monk with a lovely twinkly smile...each day they discuss a sentence very much like debates over Gemarrah actually desecting hidden meanings behind words etc. But this directed at the western and not necessarily buddhist mind. Sorry I didn't have pen and paper out...but much of what was discussed today was similar to my own framed page hanging at home about choosing joy:
suffering is inevitable but misery is a choice...etc.
Couple of quotes which struck home and have since given me some insights into my past as well as my present:
"Unhappiness is the food of anger"
"All shit stinks" - yes, that's what the monk said!
The hours went by quickly and I may go back once in awhile but not every day . All is translated by the way for the past 15 years for the same monk by an older british lady who is also a buddhist and well versed in the subjects.
Rested and then cooked chicken soup and we just fninshed eating chicken soup and kneidlach! Another lovely day has gone by...;perhaps we will see a movie...ah...taught Abdellah to play rummy today so now I have someone to play cards with as well. Anyone out there who remembers other games which are easy to learn...please remind me.
Also looking for food that is easy to prepare on just one burner...thanks for suggesttions
So far nothing extraordinary ahs happened but I think this is as it should be now and I am quite at peace with the way things are going. Think tomorrow will go up to Dharamkot (Friday) and just walk alone for awhile. The time has come and the weather is getting nicer with each passing day. Today was the first day I ventured out without my umbrella and fleece.
Friday-Erev Yom Kippur
Saw the movie "RUnning on Empty" last nite...beautiful movie and very well done.
Went to sleep last nite with the absolute knowledge that today would be beautiful and I would finally make my way "up the mountain". I so love. The weather is beautiful, not a sign of monsoon, crisp fresh, clean mountain air, crows, monkeys, cicadas...But I honestly had no idea whatsoever that I was so completely out of shape. Before my last 2 trips I made a point of doing long wlaks on a regular basis, even walking a treadmill and "cross" for 2 months prior to getting here. This time, I've spent most of the last 1/2 year doing very little of this type of thing and the last 3 weeks before leaving I literally "sat" all day with my daughter Avivia most of the time while she recoeverd from health problems.
And I am now feeling the effects. I took the "hard" back road up to Dharamakot and it was extremely difficult...more so than ever before. But made it to the tea house, had some apple juice and was getting ready to start walking (I was happy that anil wasn't there), when all of a sudden he arrived.
"where are you going?"
- not sure- either this way or that
- OK...I'll catch up to you
-No thanks, how will you find me...don't know myself where I'm going
-don't worry
Anyway, I got to this really quiet place where I first sat down to write. Up by a monastary out in the forest...surrounded by prayer flags and tranquility and started to write. Now I was walking slwly but Anil runs these mountain paths as if he was a mountain goat. and just a few mintues later, he had found me....and I know for a fact he had to check a couple of paths on the way...anyway...asked if I'd like to see a nice spot and my mistake was in saying "yes". But he did take me up the side of the mountain to a really great spot which I hope I can find again on my own....as a matter of fact I'm still up here lost in the forest and hope I find my way down using his instructions.
Well, long story short...tried to start with me...was very gentle about it but his intentions were clear...even said he can't help himself even after our talk last week. Bottom line is, he left quite frustrated after a very embarrassed apology...and although I was flattered by the attention, not pleased with the whole thing. He tried persuasion of all kinds "no one has ever said no to me before in this spot"..."life is short" "Enjoy the moment" "Who would know" blah blah blah
Asked him who all these others were who went along with him..."young girls" "Well, I'm an old experienced lady and this stuff just doesn't work on me...so behave yourself...you're acting like a bad little boy!" and that was the end of it. After his fluster of apology, and request to stay frineds, we parted amicably. "Now I believe you really mean NO...please don't be angry...I'm truly sorry!"
I am now goint to try and find my out of here...and hope to hit the compute later today
Back in the room after 2 hours on the computer and never even caught up!. So many people to write to...how will I manage? Don't have any desire to "computer"
Read, did yoga, nice dinner of pasta and then saw "Farenheit 9/11. All I can say is, if you haven't see it...see it! We sat for a long time just diffusing our thoughts and emotions after seeing it. Abdellah had seen it before and said the impact is more powerful each time you see it. As wellas the intense emotions it arouses, wonder how Americans felt when they saw it. Hey, American relatives....give me some feedback from your point of view. What did this film do for you..how did you feel...what do you think?
Saturday nite:
Up early this morning. Went to see Tashi, af friend of my firend Shahar. He is a tangka painter, buddhist religious paintings..a sweet young tibetan with interesting life sotry...perhaps some other time.
We spent a pleasant hour together up on his roof looking out at the walways spectacular view. Had a good view of Triund. Then had my 11 op'clock appointment with dondup. Did even deeper work this time and I always feel so LIGHT when I leave. Next appointment not until Firday..he's so booked!
Got back and Abdellah and I walked up and across the mountaint to the next village of Naddi...fabulous walk, new vistas and test of my physical condition. I am quite frustrated with myself. I didn't realize I had lost so much of my fitness this past year. This has been a serious wake up call for me that at this age we cannot afford to be lax. I will have to do lots of walking here and then go to the gym regularly when i get back. I can actually walk with no problem for hours if it is sstraight but the minute it starts going up hill it is a real struggle for breath as well as muscle work. Thought the dancing would be enough to keep me in shaope for this but it is not. We had a wonderful luch overlooking the whole Daladaur range and then took a different rout back...all in all we were for for 4 hours...just rested now, dinner soon, and then "terminal".
I find it so very special being with Abdellah. It is so easy and natural and we both enjoy each others company and never seem to get bored. He was menitoned in the channeling I got as a great and true friend who is with me now and this is true. On the other hand I am spending much less time alone than I anticipated but I imagine there is a purpose in this and believe it is for my Higher Good at this point in time. I know things will be different when Avik arrives as there is no way we will be as caomfortable as a threesome. or maybe yes????? Who knows...only time will tell. and whatever is meant to be WILL BE>
Will continue next time and will write about the movie Terminal which we saw...I've had it for today (which is Sunday)
My love to all...and my special thanks to all those who take the time to write and my apologies for not always answering.
Jane
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September 26, 2004- Bed Bugs and Healing

Dear All,
Back to the other night. It is now Monday and I will fill you in on the story of what I did all morning today, but let’s get caught up first. Saw “Terminal” the other night…a little too Hollywood for me especially at the end…but great story (based on true incident which is still happening in France) and wonderful acting, great character actors as well and just lots of fun most of the time.
Sunday: Slept in late…glorious day, getting warmer and more beautiful all the time.
Spent the day shopping and just hanging out and checking out shops with abdellah…one of these days will have to being shopping for real…there is a whole list I have from my daughters of things I have to really start looking for , but really don’t feel like it.
When we got back, I did a healing for abdellah. He warned me in advance that never feels anything. But I was curious to try some new energy work and also just wanted to do something nice for him…so I started with my regular hands-on type of work , always “listening” for guidance along the way, with no expectations for anything, not having any idea what “needed” to be “taken care of” anyway.
At the very end I rremoved my hands and began working (for about 2 minutes total) in his aura. Just feeling and “playing with” the energy I felt…when he “returned” to the room, he first of all commented that he was surprised to feel my hands were so hot (I had not felt this at all) and at the end he opened his eyes for a second to look because he felt my hands “all over” the middle of his body moving from side to side and all around ant that’s when he saw I wasn’t touching him at all! He said it was extremely powerful, sor to flike “phychic surgery” he knew…I was quite surprised but we’ve decided to continue these sessions and see where they lead. In addition..his stiff back and neck were completely relaxed a. I can only assume from the hands on part I was guided to do mainly on his head neck and shoulders.
And it is now 3 AM(!) and I am awake…why??? Well, just in case I had forgotten, I was given a little clue that I AM in India after all! I am covered with bed bug bites and I am going crazy with itching. Now, I don’t know if it is from my bed, which I doubt as I had no problem until two days ago, or if I picked them up somewhere else (restaurant, dondhups treatment table, tashi’s place, whatever) and brought one back on my clothes which later found it’s way into my bed… Fact is, until 2 days ago I was fine. So it’s hard for me to imagine it is from the room…although I could have brought something BACK with me from somewhere else…but just thinking about it of course has kept me mostly awake all nite. At any rate…in the morning, ashish will help me take both beds outside in the sun and will buy me something to spray them with for extermination purposes. And I will get clean cheets, and wash my own stuff and hopefully that will be the end of the story. For now…I will try to get a little sleep until morning.
Morning…slept well until 8…a few more bites this morning…but I am now after spraying everythibng, cleaning the whole room etc. and assume all will be well from now on
Yonina is leaving today for manali…having lunch with her soon.
My love to all…Jane
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October 1, 2004-New Type of Experience

Hi all,
Friday, October 1st
Today is Friday, and I actaully haven’t written since the beginning of the week. GOOD FOR ME! This is a whole different type of trip as I’ve mentioned, but there actually so many things I want to tell you and remember for myself, so will try and start filling things in and see how far I get this morning. Let’s start by going bac k to Monday, 27th September… just a few words
Came out to do some errands today after clearing the room of bedbugs but forgot that most places are closed on Monday…But stopped at the Rock Shop where I went to order a malla (stone strung with string to wear on your next or wrist) and ordered 3 in the end. You choose the stones by intuition or just what you like and no matter how I tried kept coming back tot eh same 3- ones I very often carry as well at home…one for 3rd eye (chorite), one for heart chakra (unikite) and one for root chakra (bloodstone/red jasper). So I am now having 3 made and he is fixing them so I can wear them on different necklaces and also making me a separate black chain from thread as an alternative. I will also go back to get my new crystals there . I know him from the past and he knows his business, has a very large selectiona dn fair prices.
Couldn’t check out the best book store in town or develop my film as they were all closed and then I planned to meet Yonina here at the Japanese restaurant for a farewll luchn but it is closed for 3 days. Memorial Day (Japanese, Tibetan…have no idea)…So I am now sitting here waiting for her and just thinking how lucky I am to have this opporutnity of freedom and peace of mind.
Got to do the other things next day…found some good books at the bookshop, developed film, bought my crystals and some new natural unpolished gemstones for using in healing work (started clearing and programming all of them this morning…big job)… and then the truth is I have just been doing more shopping than I should be, and have already sent one package home (via Elisheva) with all kinds of things in it and have to get another one off this week. Hope to get all of this done over the next couple of days and then begin to enjoy life here. I usually leave it for the end and then find I have no energy and wind up not getting what I want… Also ordered face creams etc. and over the counter drugs which I use regularly from the local pharmacy and it is about a 1/10 of the price from back home so really worth it. For example…Zovirax, which is about 44 shekels for 10 gr. At home (440 rupees) is here only 39 rupees for the same amount!!!! Got for myself and elisheva as we both use a lot of it during the year. And other things as well which I thought would be worth it…Ibuprofen (like nurophen _which I use as my pain-killer of choice cost almost nothing here!…I’ve brought enough for myself to last along time…If any of you want me to get you some, please let me know IMMEDIATELY before I ship off the package over the next few days…want to get this all done before avik arrives next week.
The last few movies I’ve seen are: Boy’s Don’t Cry/Six Degrees of Separation/Room with a View….all fabulous each in there own way. What I just found out, is that Abdellah actually studied film-making at UCLA and has his degree from there which would explain his love of the movies but also him knowing every director, who won oscars, etc., etc., and pointing out all kinds of subtleties to me which I would never notice…so it has been an experience watching these movies with him, beyond the movie itself.
Having a kitchen here has also been a new experience for me, aside from the fact that we plan meals, shop, cook and eat together, it also saves lots of money as well as hassle of trying to decide where to eat each day for 3 meals and then WHAT to eat off the menu. We still have our favorites and go there when we don’t feel like cooking, much as I do at home…a couple of times a week at least…and also it saves money on water since I can now boil my own water (25 mintues-20 to get rid of even giardia and an extra five for good measure since the water boils at a lower temp. at this altitude) and just keep reusing the plastic bottles which is also good for the environment. AND…I also eat simpler food and am pretty sure I will not gain so much weight this time. Abdellah also watches me and does not allow me to buy cakes etc.
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Monsoon, Bollywood and Soup

The rain has finally stopped, and there are little patches of clear
blue sky between the cloud layers. But the whole world is clean and
fresh. I have not seen this vibrant lush color of green of all shades
since I arrived here. The whole mountain off to the left is a mass of
sparkling green of every shade imaginable...and riverlets of water are
running down the gullies which have filled with rain. Atop the
highest peak, we can see snow which must have fallen last night on the
higher peaks. Off to the left we can see clear across the valley,
roads, fields, houses, and past the far off hills, the lake (don't
rmember the name of it) actually sparkling with diamonds of sunlight.
The sun is beginning to set and casting it's golden glow across to the
left lighting up the green of the mluntain with new shades and the
closer by buildings are turning all colors of yellow and gold in the
dwindling sunlight. Straight ahead we can see clear across the valley
as well to the distant moutnains, all again a flourish of greens and
sparks of sunlight. The sky is changing from second to second as the
clouds disperse and the waning sun turns those still left all shades
of pink, purple, mauve etc...as they move across the sky in an ever
changing pattern of color.
I have tried to take photographs but doubt they will capture the magic
of this moment...I am writing this a day later but can still see,
smell and sense the magic of the evening.

Dear All,
Well, today is actually MONDAY and it has been raining since
Friday!...But this morning woke up to beauitful sunshine again. This
was TRUE monsoon type rain, all day and all night from Friday
afternoon until last night (Sunday)..and so was not at the internet at
all...will try now and get caught up here since many nice things
happened over the last couple of days despite the rain...
Saturday, Oct. 2nd.
Started raining yesterday afternoon and we both got soaked on the way
back to the guesthouse. We both had massages, I can see the
difference from time to time in the amount of pain I feel during the
massage...things are getting better each time. I have another
appointment on Monday - We decided to try out the French
Restaurant...very small cozy place..no quiche left but I had a
fabulous chick pea soup! Something I would like to try out at
home...and we saw they had green salad with LETTUCE and asked where he
got it. He said right here in the market! Well, I had never seen
lettuce and went to look. Truth is it is not turly lettuce, but
tastes and looks like leaf lettuce, and so we bought some and spinach
as well which we had for a great green salad with homemade mustard
viniagrete for dinner with a surprisingly good potato kugel I made.
Haven't made one for years and always did it in the oven. Well, we
had this really small grater...I did the potatoes and Abdellah did the
onions and it took forever...But I then made it in a large frying pan
covered over low heat except at the beginning to brown and set the
outsides. It was fabulous and Abdellah really enjoyed it. With the
salad it was a great dinner.
And all this time the rain had not let up...and it is now 11 AM and
still raining! (Little did I know what we were in for at that
point)So we've decided to go later to an Indian movie in lower
Dharamsala and then do some shopping and eat out in the big town as we
did the other day. Haven't written the story yet about the Indian
family we met a couple of days ago. In the meantime, we're each doing
indoor raining day stuff we each need to take care of and hopefuly it
will clear up a little and we will leave here in about an hour...so,
to my crystals!
Took a shared jeep down to Dharamsala in the rain-bought some movie
stuff to eat and then off to the "theater"...well, this was my first
experience and it probably was as extreme as you could get. Samll
town theater, we sat in the balcony on what were probably at one time
nicely upholstered comfy chairs, but just bumpy, lumpy hard seats
which gave the clear impression of being home to small crawling
creatures as well. The movie was full of men, mostly young, and
Abdellah commented that he was surpriesed there were so many, he said
it is usually basically empty. This should have given us some hint
that something was about to happen, but we didn't put any great
imporatnce on the full house. I figured it was a raining day pursuit
for all. We had not even bothered to check what movie was playing
figuring what difference would it make. An Indian movie is an Indian
movie...it would be in Hindi with lots of singing and dancing, boy
meets girl, family objections etc....well, it didn't take long to
figure out why so many guys were there. I guess this was as close as
you could get to an Indian porn film!!!. Started out very innocently
with a group of students on a "botany Tour"up in Himachal. Just
watching and trying to put together what was happening, and at one
point one of the girls was bitten by a cobra (and this, along with
many other scenes had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with
anything that could be called a plot. Guys running after and leering
at and eventually singing and dancing with and fantasizing about a
sexy milk maid on bicycle...fake swami trying to get "too close"to a
customer, guys in a pool room singing and dancing with some blond
girl...all really quite silly and unconnected...and then of course
some mad scientist equipped with funny beard, glasses and smoking test
tubes - he actually DID have something to do with the final plot)
anyway, out of the clear blue all of a sudden 2 naked copulating
bodies appear on the screeen to a chorus of cheers from the audience.
abdellah and I are laughing by this time and it was as if someone had
spliced something from somewhere else into the movie. Completely
different actors etc. This continued in to a scene with a naked girl
and 2 guys fooling around with her quite graphically and the whole
thing lasted perhaps 5-10 mintues...not quite sure and then back to
the "regular"movie. Won't go into any more details, but in the end
the movie even included Karate, Kung fu stuff, a rape, murder,
courthouse scene etc.
It wasn't until we left that we saw the name of the film was "the
rapist"...Ah, also, the dialogue and singing, were dubbed it seemed or
just not synchronized. It was really weird but we both had a good
laugh and will go next time to see a "real"Bollywood film. BTW...it
also only lasted about 1 hour!
We came home in the rain, had GREAT pasta and then watched the movie
"monster"which was very heavy but fabulously acted.
Sunday morning
Don't believe it but I slept until 10:20 this morning. It poured ALL
night, it is now 1 PM and still pouring...unbelievable weather...we
ate breakfast around 11...I made myself french toast and even had
maple syrup on it. Then we just talked for awhile. I am now cooking
up a lentil and veggie soup for later. No way we can go out today.
It is also VERY cold and the cooking helps heat the room. We will
read, paly cards, listen to music , do healing and just pass a nice
raining day. HOp[efully tomorrow will clear up. I'm quite depressed
by the weather. Avik will be here on Wed. and hope it is nicer by
then.
Oh, forgot, yesterday, wehn we got back from the movies, I did yoga
and then tried to read but it was sooooo cold I danced in my room for
an hour to warm up and worked up a great sweat and had good fun at the
same time!
I am now backed up again for interent and guess I will get this done
tomorrow as well as my stories about choon-moon the shanti dog and the
Indian family we met alst week and the Datz and Datza song from the
Hindi movie Murder
Abdellah was saying if he had known it was going to rain for 3 days we
dould have gone up to Asis Health Spa and taken a room there just for
fun. 1500 rupees a day but heated, TV pool, gym, massages, real
dining room etc..
Well, I will be including here the recipe (which I actually remember
exactly how I made ) for the lentil soup which was astonishingly
delicious....
But first, just a quick description which will surely not do justice
to what we are seeing now outside.
The rain has finally stopped, and there are little patches of clear
blue sky between the cloud layers. But the whole world is clean and
fresh. I have not seen this vibrant lush color of green of all shades
since I arrived here. The whole mountain off to the left is a mass of
sparkling green of every shade imaginable...and riverlets of water are
running down the gullies which have filled with rain. Atop the
highest peak, we can see snow which must have fallen last night on the
higher peaks. Off to the left we can see clear across the valley,
roads, fields, houses, and past the far off hills, the lake (don't
rmember the name of it) actually sparkling with diamonds of sunlight.
The sun is beginning to set and casting it's golden glow across to the
left lighting up the green of the mluntain with new shades and the
closer by buildings are turning all colors of yellow and gold in the
dwindling sunlight. Straight ahead we can see clear across the valley
as well to the distant moutnains, all again a flourish of greens and
sparks of sunlight. The sky is changing from second to second as the
clouds disperse and the waning sun turns those still left all shades
of pink, purple, mauve etc...as they move across the sky in an ever
changing pattern of color.
I have tried to take photographs but doubt they will capture the magic
of this moment...I am writing this a day later but can still see,
smell and sense the magic of the evening.
And now to the recipe:
KAILWOOD HEARTY SOUP
4 MEDIUM ONIONS
4 LARGE CLOVES OF GARLIC
(SAUTEE UNTIL CLEAR AND GOLDNE - DO NOT BURN.
add:
100 GRAMS MASH (GEEN ROUND LENTILS-MUNG BEANS i THINK IN ENGLISH)
COVER WITH WATER AND BOIL FOR 10 MINUTES
add:
2 MEDIUM POTATOES CUT UP
1 MEDIUM SWEET POTATO CUT UP
add:
wATER TO DOUBLE COVER THE INGREDIENTS
sEASON WITH:
LARGE PINCH OF DRY GINGER
SALT AND PEPPER TO TASTE
3 BY LEAVES (REMOVE AFTER THE FIRST HOUR OF COOKING)
cOOK OVER LOW HEAT UNTIL POTATOES ARE SOFT.
bREAK UP POTATOES AND SWEET POTATOES WITH FORK...COOK UNTIL SOUP
BEGINS TO THICKEN, ADDING A LITTLE MORE WATER IF NECESSARY TO KEEP
FROM STICKING. sTIR OFTEN.
ADD:
oNE SMALL CAN WHOLE PEELED TOMATOES (ABOUT 6 TOMATOES) AND MOST OF THE
JUICE...CUT UP TOMATOES BEFORE ADDING
COOOK 10 MORE MINUTES
ADD:
5 FRANKS OR TIVOL ONES CUT UP (OPTIONAL BUT REALLY ADDED GREAT FALVOR)
tHE SOUP SHOULD COOK OVER LOW HEAT FOR AT LEAST 2 HOURS ALL TOGETHER,.
i HAD IT ON THE LIGHT EVEN LONGER.
Good luck...b'teavon....worth a try in the winter...
I will end here for today...
My love to all
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October 5, 2004

Hi all,
It is now Wednesday morning and I am waiting for Avik's arrival in about 1 hour so decided to use the time to get one more letter out. so...back to tomorrow

Tuesday October 5th

Went again to dondhup yesterday and he was not happy with my knee. It has not really improved very much and of course he said it would be best to just rest it for awhile but that of course is not only impossible, with all the walking I MUST do here, I also refuse as there is also walking which I WANT to do here. He diagnosed it as a pulled ligament (and his past diagnosis have always been correct as confirmed with x-rays etc. back home by my orthopedist) which I have had for awhile (he is right about that as well...it started to hurt about 1 month before I left home and I did some acupuncture for it just before leaving). He's been working on it and has now given me exercises to do to strengthen my leg as it has begun to affect my left leg which I now apparently favor. (the right knee is the problem). So his suggestion, if I am going to keep up my walking and not rest for 2 weeks...is to tape it up (but I just remembered I brought my eklastic knee bandage which i sometimes wear for dancing) and always use a walking stick when going downhill...and absolutely not attempt anything as ambitious as Triun at this time. So, that is what I will try doing.
Today, we woke up to glorious weather (which actually clouded over by around 1 but was still not cold and actually more pleasant for walking...I hope it lasts, but decided to check the forcast for this area on the internet...it is supposed to be more of the same...sunny in morning and then partly cloudy but is supposed to rain over the weekend again...yuck!

Monday night I finally slept well...I asked for another blanker and a quilt...the quilt is uselss so far due to the smell of it and is now out in the sun hopefully to be usable at some point...but I doubled over the 3rd blanket so had like 4 blankets on me. they must weigh about 3 kilo...could harly turn over in bed...but I slept like a baby for the first time in days being nice and warm. (Last night, Tuesday night, I actually woke up being too HOT and had to remover the extra blanket!!)

After breakfast I will attempt to pick up my pharmacy order again...I've tried 3 times in the last couple of days but he is never there...but got lots of exercise going up and down temple road....Once I get the stuff, I will send off another pacakge before avik gets here. And then Abdellah and I are off to naddi again for chicken. Last night we saw "Central Station"...a beautiful, sensitive, moving Brazilian movie which brought me to tears...see it if you come across it.

Just hope the weather has fianlly truned and I can truly begin enjoying walking. avik will arrive tomorrow morning and both Abdellah and I are curious as to how things will go from here...

Well, I DID finally get SOME of the pharmacy stuff...parts won't be ready until friday...but it is an enourmous savings and today have sent off a package...even with the postage it saves lots of money on drugs which are quite expensive in Israel...and hre they are soooooooooo cheap.

We went to naddi but took a rickshaw both ways as my knee was really bothering me, even with the bandage...but the chicken was fantastic. Abdellah helped me get the pahrmacy stuff and also placed an order himself and then we went and had the package made up and this morning (wednesday) I shipped it off.

We had a light supper of pasta and then saw "crouching tiger, hiding dragon"(or whatever the name is)...I waws not too keen on seeing the moving...but we watched it dubbed in english which you couldn't even tell it was not the original language it was done so well, the acting was wonderful and the music was beautiful and the martial arts scenes which I usually don't like (there was no blood or anyting in the movie basically) were like beautifully choreographed dance pieces...I really enjoyed it.

That's about it for now....I guess things will change from here on, but don't know exactly how....but when I find out, I'll be able to write about it.

My love to all...Jane
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October 8-10, 2004


Scores of birds, ravens, and hawks, floating lazily on the wind currents, not caring where they are taken…just enjoying life and the aftermath of the storm. Entire valley and distant Himalayas spread out clean and freash for all to enjoy looking at. The rays of sun shining down through the parting clouds… which are being pulled apart in different directions and scattered by the wind - to illuminate patches of mountain and valley with bright sunlight….a powerful contrast to the dark clouds still hanging high overhead above the mountain. The lake off to the right past the valley is almost luminous as well with sunlight…seems as if the worst of the fury of the storm, which woke me this morning at 6 with a trememdous clap of thunder, has died down and we may even have another beautiful day today in the end.


Hi all,
It is now sunday morning and I think I have not written since Wednesday....could that be????

avik arrived on Wednesday, him and abdellah get on quite well, we've figured out a "territory" system in the room which seems to be working well...and mostly things seem to be ok...but I am not used to traveling with someone...or maybe it is just Avik...We'll leave it at that for now and I will try and not make any judgements this early...We had a fabulous day yesterday...the weather was wonderful...first time since I arrived that it was nice ALL day....and today it is rainign all over again… I will write more about yesterday as I now get everyone caught up with the past few days…..

Friday, October 8th

I had brought 2 books with me from home for “working on” here but up until now have not been inclined to looking at them. Perhhaps I needed a 3 week respite from ALL responsibility and obligation. Even to myself…but yesterday I felt a pull towards one of them…actually found them both in a bookshop in London/ This one is on “Mindfulness meditation” which in its pure form is a very high form of Buddhis meditation. But the author, who has written in depths books on Buddhist meditation, is also a medical doctor and has clinics which deal in stress control, disease etc….don’t rmember everything…has now written a book for the western mind to use. Many quotes from Thoreau, Einstein, even Martha Graham! In effect, although I am still at the beginning, he is sllwly showing any western person, even those who have no experience whatsoever with any form of meditation, how to begin, and the point is way before actually sitting down “to meditate”…and at the end of each section he has little things to try doin during the day in regular everyday life.

One, which I already have been trying even before this book, is to “be” in the moment and just savor everything as it occurs each second without looking past the moment…Here it is very easy, just sitting here up on the roof watching the crows hawks and parrots…listening to their calls, watching them glide on the currents, feeling the warmth of the sun and the whisper of the wind, seeing the slight gentle movements of the trees etc. If you are sitting alone in a room, and really start to experience the moment, mostly you hear car horns, dogs barking, refrigerator humming, etc., but that is the general idea and it is quite interesting the amount of things we are unaware of completely during the day…that we simply don’t take the time to notice etc.

Today is Avik’s birthday and Abdellah has taken him out for he whole morning so I can make a small surprise for him. But nothing is simple here…had to go to many shops to ge what I needed and up and back to the room, make up the sign, balloons,….find a small present, cake, beer etc. etc. But it’s all done now and he should be up soon. Hope he is pleased. I’ve done what I felt like doing…whatever happens from here is not dependent on me.

Saturday…9th
Party was great! Ashish came up when I was hanging the sign and balloons and thought it all very silly but at the mention of beer he was quite pleased to be invited. The 4 of us had a really fun tijme. Ashish also supplied (he is so sweet) cashews and after the first bottle of beer was taken care of by him and avik (this is Indian bottle of beer, about 2 ½ times what we are used to in size) he went down to his secret cache of things people give him for presents when they leave and brought up a precious can of gunnes draught…I actually liked it! Finally found out how old (appx) ashish is…between 25-29…his mother is not sure what year he was born because they were refugees in Bengladesh then…But his date is the same as shira’s… Feb 3rd!

Avik really enjoyed the studies at the Buddhist library, although I again found nothing very original or revealing in what he explained….it’s stuff that I am familiear with from many other sources, mostly in Judaism but also in spiritual , “going inside” type things I’ve been working on for years, …but I’m glad he enjoyed it and will either be continuing with abdellah or perhaps finding something at tushita which he wants to learn….he is also checking out a teacher for Hindi…he feels uncomfortable just “doing nothing” as he feels I do here….so, I imagine we will spend some lovely days together as we did yesterday, but also have much time apart…
We saw three more movies alos…Under the Tuscan Sky/ Howard’s End and last night Sidewalks of New york….Avik tries to be very “intellectual when discussing athem afterwards with Abdellah…I’ve kind of had my fill of movies…and certainly don’t find them a particularly “intellectual” pursuit…..

Avik also pulled one of those getting lost things again like he did in London (turns out he also did the same thing in Dor last week when he was there with other people and without telling anyone decided to swim around some island and was gone for over an hour…everyone thought he drowned and were all furious when he came back…but of course he couldn’t see anything wrong with what he had done and just ignored everyone and their worries and feelings)….what he did here was to decide to check out the back path going up from the guesthouse to the road to dharamkot but it was already beginning to get dark and that is not a good place to be alone in the dark, even if you are familiear with it. I told him so but he said he would just go up to the road and come right back down…and agreed to do us a favor and take a flashlight. Should have taken 5 minutes…he was gone 1 hour and 10 minutes!!! He decided to go alittle further, got lost etc. We were of course frantic, thinking he may have fallen, hurt himsleft, who knows what and beginning to think perhaps we should go look, but where?…and I was trying to be very calm and not worry and not get angry and really working hard at it…Well, sure enough, he wawlked in just in time for dinner with a big smile on his face as if nothing was wrong…and again, just like in London, could not understand my reaction….after dinner and movie, we had a long discussion and he said he really doesn’t care if people are stupid enough to worry about him…it’s all nonsense in his mind and can’t see that there is some amount of selfishness in his attitude…enough…let’s leave it at this….

We spent the rest of the day Friday doing some shopping for avik…and just giving him a really full tour of town and some idea of places to go and see, shops, bookshops, restaurants, etc., etc., for when he is on his own…and that brings us to yesterday.

It was such a perfect day and we did so much…we were out from 10 AM until 7 in the evening…but the truth is I am tired now and think I will end this with just one quick mention of this morning….I promise to write about yesterday’s day out in the next e-mail

Now it is Sunday….and I am here writing, but just before I left the room I wrote something which I will put down now…

Stareted actually last week when I checked the weather for the area and they said thunderstorms and rain on Sunday and I figured that couldn’t be right. Well, it WAS right!!! And this is what I wrote after finally putting myself together this morning and the rain and wind had died down for awhile…

Scores of birds, ravens, and hawks, floating lazily on the wind currents, not caring where they are taken…just enjoying life and the aftermath of the storm. Entire valley and distant Himalayas spread out clean and freash for all to enjoy looking at. The rays of sun shining down through the parting clouds… which are being pulled apart in different directions and scattered by the wind - to illuminate patches of mountain and valley with bright sunlight….a powerful contrast to the dark clouds still hanging high overhead above the mountain. The lake off to the right past the valley is almost luminous as well with sunlight…seems as if the worst of the fury of the storm, which woke me this morning at 6 with a trememdous clap of thunder, has died down and we may even have another beautiful day today in the end.

I will end for now….Ah, one last thing, just to show you can never REALLY get away….I called Elisheva’s house on Friday to talk to them after I had spoken to the other kids before, but shai answered. And then he told me about what was happening in Sinai….now, you would think that if I hadn’t by chance spoken to him I would not know, but no such luck….I have my cellphone with me in case someone needs to send me a message in an emergency by SMS and check it in the evening and the morning…well, there was a message from my folkdance instructor that despite the tragic events the dancing would still go on on Friday night as planned…So, no matter how, we always seem to find out about these things one way or another. Of course yesterday morning as well as today we have been checking the newspapaer to keep up ….don’t even want to talk about it, just wanted to comment on the impossibility of REALLY getting away from it all in today’s world.

My love to all….Let me hear from you….. Posted by Picasa
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October 11, 2004-Weather, Walkaround and Pizza in Dharamkot

Dear All,
Monday. October 11th
I am sitting here at the internet cafe and must tell you all that I am
beginning to really become depressed by the weather...In fact, since
I've been here, there has really only been one truly nice day and that
was this past Saturday, which I will write about soon. I can only hope
that the good weather is still waiting to arrive and I will see have at
least one month of god weather here...because I honestly do not feel
like travelling anywhere else, just getting the best out of this home
away from home. Today is REALLY cold and miserable, even though the
sun was out this mornig. The mountains are covered in snow and people
are all talking about the very strange weather. We went out this
morning around 10, and the clouds had rolled in by then, but decided to
try for the Bhagsu waterfall anyway. Well, truth is, we started up and
it was cold but otherwise OK and when we got half way up it began
raining ...we made it to the little place up on top...we are now
sitting in pouring monsoon type rain in the little enclosure with all
the painted signs...freezing...and it looks like we may be here for a
couple of hours...(we were there for about 1 hour all in all but came
down in light drizzle which picked up as we approached bhagsu)...It was
scarey walking down as it was quite slippery but we made it without
trouble, had someth;ing to eat in bhagsu, freezing all the time. I
keep thinking to buy some warm clothing but then think I may not need
it...it is like Israel in the middle of the winter...really
depressing...
anyway...enough of that...back to saturdya, which was glorious...We
started out by walking up TIPA road to Dharamkot, a very pleasant 25
minute walk and always a pleasure. Got to the tea-house...Anil and
Avik met up and there were not very pleasant looks passing between
them...it was actaully quite funny. We had tea and then continued
walking aacross the mountain, enjoying the magnificent view which was
perfectly clear in every direction. The view down the valley, across
to McLeod, up to the snow capped peaks in the distance, all perfectly
clear. On the way we met three women, actually 2 younger girls and an
older one whose face was completely smashed in on one side in what
looked like a recent injury. They were cutting wood and we said hello
back and forth and continued on our way. After getting to the end of
the mountain road, I took Avik up one of the small back paths which
leads to the small monestary in the woods and we sat there just taking
in the beauty of the forest, with prayer flags overhead and monkeys in
the trees. And just then we heard someone calling "hello" from
below...it was the same 3 women, and when they saw us sitting there,
climbed directly up the side of the mountain without a path to sit with
us. I knew they wanted something, as they were very freindly and the
older one was complaining about it being hard to breathe and her back
hurting etc. and the younger ones just smailling and saying hello,
hello hello...after while of this smiling etc. they began to get up to
leave when finally the youngest one said "You give me sweet??" Well, I
didn't have any with me, but did have chewing gum, so emptied out my
stash between them and they were ever so hapy...but then, I asked in
exchange to take their picture, which they were very happy about...and
we all went on our way. We got back to Dharamkot and then headed
across to the pizza place, noting all the new building along the
mountain, including the new Beit Chabad. We got to the pizza place
which I think serves the best pizza I've ever eaten, and I usually DO
NOT eat pizza because of the cheese, but here I am willing to make the
sacrifice to my health!...The pizza finally arrived and I began to
gobble my half, Avik slowly eating one slice and then stopping, never
commenting if it was good, bad, whatever...I was quite surprised but
kept eating away...I was starving and it was great!...When I finally
slowed down, I realized that he was not eating...and I asked if it
wasn't good...He said, "it's pizza!" and then I realized he was
finished, ...one slice being enough for him...it was quite
strange...anyway...we continued down the mountain to Bhagsu, again
noting the enormous amount of new buildings which had gone up...and
went to check if Akhilesh was around...He was! (Darya...you have warm
regards back)....He came down and we had tea together and a lovely
talk. He has come along way since I first met him...his english is
quite good these days and he has a newfound dignity about him...He had
just come back from 2 months in Switzerland, fRance and Spain, mostly
vacationing but also giving workshops on yoga, meditation and
philosophy. From there we went up to the Bhagsu temple and I was about
to show avik the way up to the waterfall, when I realized all of a
suddden that the one think avik was missing here was swimming, and I
realized there was not only a pool, but one with freezing water in it
which he loves, and showed it to him. Lots of guys were diving in and
enjoying themselves and he almost stripped down to his underpants to
join them...but agreed to wait for another day when he would come by
himself. So now he is completely content. He has a Hindi teacher and
starts lessons on Wednesday, goes with Abdellah to study buddhism at
the library, is now checking out a monestary course and on the 15th is
thinking of taking a residential course for a week at Tushita...Anyway,
from Bhagsu we came back to Mclead, bought more clothes for Avik, found
a new optician who just opened in town and he also ordered glasses, had
dinner at nick's and then came home.. All in all a very nice day.
The relationship between abdellah and I has become strained as well a
little as avik, although he likes him alot and claims to have a great
rapport with him...is alos jealous of the time we spend togehter and
our conversations...much as he is of my time with Edna or the girls.
Well, eventually we will get out of here (the top of the waterfall
place I am sitting)...it is actually fascinating watiching the clouds
up here...it is as if a giant smoke machine is working overtime at full
power blowing the coulds across in our direction...
I will end here...
Truly hope the weather clears up before long...I've really had my
fill!!!! Going up to the room now to make split pea soup to warm us
up...
My love to all...and thanks to those who wrote!!!!! Will try and reply
to each of you personally...
Love...Jane
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October 13, 2004- SNOW in Bhagsu!

Wed, october 13th
Dear All,
Back to Monday when we got stuck at the waterfall. We made it back to the room just before the real storm began...abdellah was also back...avik had left all the windows open when he came back (we had split up when we got down from bhagsu after eating lunch up there...he went up to the room and I stayed at the internet)... and rain lashed by piercing cold winds was coming into the room. Really stupid total disinterest in everything around him! Well, I closed everything up and locked all the windows and closed the curtains but they continued to blow as the wind found all the cracks. The wind was howling and lashing the rain in all directions which pounded on teh roof with a fury. I prepared supper ( pea soup with frnaks) and abdellah preparied his part of the meal and avik lay in bed reading. It was getting colder by the minute and I was really sorry I hadn't bought the sweater and warm pants yet. I put on my thermal underwear though and had my fleece on and after dinner we went across to watch a movie (Calendar Girls...fabulous...I recommend it for a pleasant treat)) and abdellah lit his heater...REALLY nice. Figured it had to be about 10 degrees outside...it was really really cold. I slept with my fleece and layers of clothing, the quilt, 2 blankets and the shawel on my around my shoulders and head and was cozy warm. even got too warm during the nite....we woke up to a beautiful but wintry day.
Tuesday....Avik went with abdellah to the library again (doesn't want to go anymore now...says it is repetitive and goes around in circles) and I went off for an ayurveda massage...finally found someone good and I'd forgotten how wonderful it is!!! 1 hour was 350 and 2 hours 500 so of course I did 2 hours!!!
On the way up to Bhagsu to the massage...of course the far mountain range was covered with snow, but to my great surprise, the mountain just above Bhagsu was ALSO white!!! I've never seen that and am told it doesn't usually happen until december or january....Apparently even the local were as surprised as I was and haven't seen it at this time of year as everyone was pointing and staring and jabbering away excitedly at the site.AFter the massage....it was quite cold in the room and this distacted somewhat from the pleasure but not THAT much...
I came back to the room and we avik and I took a jeep down to Dharamsala...shared jeeps are always an expereince and this was his first time...I had TOLD him what to expect but he was sure I was exxagerating...he found out I was not!...Well, we got safely down to the "big town" and went to look around the market....I found a nice piece of fabric by chance and had taken my favorite around the house pants with me just in case (I bought them 9 years ago at Pua in Pardes Chana and love them to this day)...and so ordered a pair make by a tailor who was recommended. If he does good work, I will the a few more things done by him and then have my wardrobe set for a few years.
Came back to Mcleod and again avik left me (he has to go pee all the time...worse than me...so goes back to the room often, not always wanting to go into a restaurant and just use the toilet)...and I found the sweater I wanted as well as a warm pair of flannel pants...so now I am set...just need a warmer shawel...When I went into the shops, all the Tibetan lady shopowners were SOOOOOO happy as all the tourists are buying up all the warm clothes....Everywhere I went people were trying on sweaters and warm pants...and laughing at the absurdity of it!
Woke up ;this morning and although it is not raining it is quite cold...wonder what will be...but at least now I am warm enough....
Today Avik went up to find out about a 10 day course in Tushita on Buddhist philosopy and will meet me here shortly I hope and we will go down to walk around the Temple (Kora) and then pick up the rest of the stuff at the pharmacy hopefully and my malla which is still not completed...he keeps forgetting or just wants me to come and visit all the time...told him I will start charging HIM money until it is done!!!
that's about it for now...I will give this place another week or so and see what happens...I really don't want to leave but also don't want to just stay if the weather remains so cold....most people here are optimistic that it has not yet warmed up after the monsoon and there will still be at least a month of warm weather, even though it is starting late....I will think positively as well!!
My love to all...
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October 14, 2004 Just Stuff

Hi all,
I've been asked a couple of questions in recent e-mails so before I begin today's letter, I will try and answer them all in one go...
Abdellah, for those who asked, is the guy who lives next door to me, who I met last year....just a quick reminder, his parents are from Algeria, he grew up in france....his mother is muslim, his step-father and that whole side of his family is Jewish...he lived for 18 years in the states and now is in India studying to be a buddhist...he is a wonderful person and great friend and we have really great fun times together........
Avik and I are defintiiely not getting married in India as that became a technical problem, but as things are going, I've discovered some very disturbing things about him and it doesn't look good for any future together...I will not go into any details here
And...the weather has changed!!! It is beautiful and even warm today and seems like it will continue...not a cloud in site...perhaps the people here were right and the weather just got confused at it has all over the world and the month or so of nice weather will begin now...
Now...to today's journal:
Thursday October 14th
Up at 6 today and saw the sunrise...as well as the dawn of a beautiful day. Crispy cold but sunny and singing birds...not a cloud in the sky...Bropught all the warm dirty clothes from the the past 2 weeks to the laundry by 8:30 having finished my daily reiki, pranayama, meditation and even light breakfast. Avik was finally ready at 10:30 (!) and we headed up to Dharamkot...up the back road to Heena cafe...his never wanting to stop anywhere for a drink or just to enjoy...just walk...but we are now down at the pizza place after coming back down and I am having banofee while he looks on...He will then go to Beit Chabad to check out classes (turns out a class was starting today but I think he wasn't really serious as he spoke to Dror (the rabbi there) and then told me he couldn't be bothered...or perhaps he didn't like the looks of the place...but he didn't want to begin the class any way....) Tomorrow night we just saw is the last classical Indian Music concert in Bhagsu...the cold weather has chased away the tourists and the town is closing up early...too bad!.
I've been practicing from my book about "mindfulness Meditation" working very hard on "being here" in the moemnt...it can be quite beautiful...this trip is very different I think either I am with the wrong person or just not meant to travel with ANY person.
At any rate...we continued down the mountain throught the woods and wound up in Bhagsu where avik wanted to buy a sweater...We checked out the shops and he finally found what he liked and I also found a couple of things I had been looking for since last year when they were stolen...and I ALSO found out something else about Avik which actually really surprised me...I found out he is not very generous and actually commented on my buying things...I really was surprised by this! I will go shopping from now on by myself...it was really uncomfortable feeling like I had to explain myself...and the stuff is so cheap it is really silly. He complained that I didn't know how to bargain and paid to much for things etc...when in effect all this bargaining saves maybe, if you are lucky, 2-3 shekels per item!!! At one point I showed him a shirt for him which I thought he would like. The guy asked 200 rupees...Avik said 180...the guy said no...avik continued....after about 15 minutes of haggling, the guy finally said he already wrapped it so Avik could have it for 150...at which point abik said...I never really wanted it...jsut wanted to see how low I could get you to go!!!!
Anyway...I then went and had a thali while avik again looked on (claiming he is not hungry) and I suggested he go for a swim in the place I mentioned in an earlier journal...and he did. I went down and made a new appointment for another ayurveda massage on monday and then we met up...and guess what he had for lunch??? Felafel!!!....We then came down to McLeod and went looking for tashi thinking avik could see how he does the thangka paintings, since he k\likes to know the technical side of all craftmanship things. Well, he wasn't there, I am now at the internet and avik went back to the room....He also had a hindi lesson yesterday and has been practicing all kinds of words etc. before his next lesson on Saturday.
We also met kelly in town and perhaps will see him later this evening or another afternoon. Hard to catch him in his room...
tomorrow we have to go back to dharamsala to get the clothes we had sticked and I thought we would make a day of it and also meet abdellah for a movie...but avik doesn't want to go to a "silly" Hindi movie as he's already seen one...I've not seen a "real" one yet, but maybe I'll go with abdellah...or maybe not...we'll see tomorrow...
Avik also went to pick up his glasses and one of the lenses was not the right prescription so they will fix them and we will go back in a few days.
That's about it..
The really good news of course is the weather and my mood being somewhat beter and hope it continues....I seem to be just floating from day to day with nothing of imporantance happening...although perhaps what I am learning about avik is all very important, and that is the reason for this trip...I wish I could feel more relaxed and just enjoy myself as I am used to, but it is difficult when another person is involved....
Well, I'll close here...my love to all....I know this journal is getting really boring, but of course no one has to really read it but me....perhaps things will pick up...if not, I will just be home earlier than planned...
Again...love to all...
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October 18, 2004- The BIG Lesson Learnt!

ONLY love can bring good things into this world and into our lives. If we deny our soul’s desires and needs, we block out its light. We become dark and dull…We no longer shine from outside…we have no true joy or happiness…and this is how I have felt all these months…but my soul is now rejoicing and my face is bright with smiles and the glow of happiness…whatever awaits me waits to be seen, but I know all will be well…

Dear All, - This is a long post with much detail....if it helps someone else out there....great!
I"ve written the lesson at the beginning, and now, the post will explain how it all came about!!
OK…this is basically not so much a letter to everyone, although it will also serve the purpose of letting you all know how my confrontation with Avik went last night…I also want to thank ALL of you who replied to my last troubled letter and all your advice and support….I sat here with tears of joy streaming down my face from the feeling of your outpouring of love and concern for me…I love you all very much…those who advise staying here as long as possible, in fact this does seem like the best idea and I know I will hate myself for coming home early once I get over my hugging and kissing all those I miss so much, but I don’t know if at this point I will make that decision….I don’t really know how to approach avik and tell him I want him to go home without me and stay on here alone for awhile using his money….but I will take things day by day…as you will see from the following, I am well taken care of my God and the Universe and imagine that this decision will also be guided from above for my higher good…
And now, the story….
I will try and make this as clear as possible, but because of my great need to get it all written, I probably will be rambling a lot here…this is basically for myself and of course you can skip over or even delete what is irrelevant or just “too much” for you to take!
Those of you who have been following my journals for the last few years, know that each trip brought with it some deep learning, some lesson, which had to be learnt…and that this trip so far had not yet revealed the lesson to me….well, it’s happened and as always, was quite amazing in the synchronicity and surprising sequence of events leading up to last night.
I have actually been struggling with this decision for several months now, as some of you are aware. But the fact is, I was always approaching it from a place of anger and fear…and of course what came back to me, instead of clarity and understanding and direction, was just more anger and fear, multiplying itself from both within and from outside….Saturday morning, something very trivial happened but which, for some reason, opened my eyes to what has been wrong with my approach all this time, and also showed me the “bottom line” in regard to my problem with Avik in a very clear way…so clear in fact that it was as if the heavens had opened and a large hand came down and wrote the message on a piece of paper for me to read. It’s as if the mist over the mountains has cleared and all is clear and bright and beautiful!
I understood, first of all, that it is not the BIG lie which was so terrible coming from Avik, and perhaps if all other things had been well, I could have gotten past that, as I know that no matter how stupid it was, he believed he was doing it for love….what I realized so clearing on Saturday morning, is that Avik himself is just one big lie!!! Everything he does is secretive, closed, dishonest, there is no true integrity in anything he does or says…And these small lies have repeated themselves so often until I realized that this is just who he is…a person who is incapable of being open and honest, and forthright with other people….and this is THE one thing that I cannot live with….
In addition, as I explained to him, if he truly has found the love of his life which he believes, then he should be joyful and happy and he is nothing but miserable all the time…so whatever he is feeling, it is not really love…more like a teenage infatuation I guess
What happened then, Saturday, was that after a couple of hours of deep thought, it just dawned on me that my approach to the whole thing has been wrong…And immediately beautiful and loving thoughts filled my mind and heart. I no longer felt anger or fear, just peace and calm, knowing that doing what my soul truly needs me to do, and which can only be done through love, is the only true way…and once I approached everything from the place of love, I knew that all would be well. It was something I’ve always known, but this is the first time I have had to deal with a situation personally which required the relinquishing of anger and fear and the replacing them with true love….it was really an illuminating experience for me…a true “AHA! “ as Yonina would say!
Once my heart opened, all the answers just flowed to me in simplicity and directness. I knew exactly what I would say to Avik and how, and although I had no idea how he would react, knew for a fact that everything would be just as it should be.
Well, it took awhile until I got hold of him to speak to him, but when I did, I myself was completely surprised by the lack of hardness and anger in my voice, and the gentle words of love which flowed. He heard all I had to say, and his conclusion (at least as of last night) was that we could simply remain traveling companions and stay together as long as we felt comfortable with the arrangement, just as friends etc…I told him I would really like to stay here as long as possible, but did not express any desire to continue on by myself afterwards…he seemed very opened to the idea of my continuing to use the money which is his, but as I said, that was last night..this may all change today or tomorrow, but you never know as there was another twist to the story which I will write in a minute….I know however, that his reaction of love and calm was only in direct response to my approach from the heart…if I had spoken to him about our separation at any other point, in any other way, before I “saw the light”, I know his reaction would have been in kind…which is to say….filled with anger etc….He told me that there would be no problem when we get back…everything that is mine, would go back to me, as much as he loves his beautiful house now…and even asked if he could keep the nice arrangemnt in the computer room…I said I need it for my “new house” wherever and whenever that would be…and he said…anything you need me to help you with, or replace, I will…I will help you move and get everything fixed up just as you did for me when you came to live in my house…I believe he was sincere in this and don’t think THIS at least will change….and this is because of what he told me next…
On Friday, the day before I had my illuminating experience, I was talking to Nicolai while avik was out, and when avik came back he continued to talk to him while I preprared dinner. Nicolai recommended a book by the Dalai Lama for Avik, and for some reason he went right out and bought it and began reading it on Saturday! He doesn’t really go in for this stuff but I found him completely absorbed in the book….He had been reading it for 2 days by the time I spoke to him….
What he said to me was….that everything I’ve been telling him all this time, about what he is like etc., and which he always denied and became very defensive about, he now, for the first time in his life, realizes is true….he is secretive, dishonest, lies, hides things from people, is afraid of his weaknesses so pretends they don’t exist and had actually built a fantasy perception of who he is for his own personal consumption all his life…etc., etc.
And all of these things are the reason for his great suffering (turns out he was reading about suffereing in the book and the causes of it and how to overcome it) all his life…He now realizes that he must change who he is if he is to be truly happy, but doesn’t know if he is able to at his advanced age… and he knows that my decision is completely right. I had told him that I thought in the beginning I was being kind to him in trying to put things back together and only now realized it was actually being cruel as I was only making him more miserable…he agreed that I was doing the best thing for him and thanked me for it….there is more to his insights which I was quite surprised by, and know all of this was just part of the “plan”….things just don’t happen….there is no coincidence. By the way- I had originally thought to talk to him earlier, before he had read the book, (WHICH i DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS READING)and for some reason Abdellah told me to wait another day…so we could enjoy our Sunday walk to naddi together…if I had spoken to him a day earlier, who knows how he would have reacted to what I said…it was all combined…my speaking from a place of love and his having understood his own part in his lifetime of suffereing….
At any rate…the lesson for me is learnt…ONLY love can bring good things into this world and into our lives. If we deny our soul’s desires and needs, we block out its light. We become dark and dull…We no longer shine from outside…we have no true joy or happiness…and this is how I have felt all these months…but my soul is now rejoicing and my face is bright with smiles and the glow of happiness…whatever awaits me waits to be seen, but I know all will be well….being here, coming home, spending time with family and friends, going off to Uruguay, job hunting, apartment hunting…just new adventures to be faced and enjoyed…
I will do my very very best to answer all of you personally, but please please do not think badly of me if I do not manage it….
My love to all of you and again my thanks for your warm letters, your outpouring of love and your intriguing forms of advice!
Jane
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Mindfulness Walk to Dharamkot-Beautiful!

Hi all,
Ocotber 20th, 2005
The funniest thing happened yesterday. I was looking for something in my "travel drawer" and I came across my handwritten journal from last year's trip to India. Opened it to a page at random just for fun and came across this following entry, which, funny as it may seem, never made it to the computer last year, although it is one of the most beautiful days I remember, and for some reason just stayed in the handwritten notebook. Even funnier, it was written exactly one year to the day! On
October 20th, 2004! (My mother's birthday last year)
So I am sending it to myself for safe keeping and figured some of you might appreciate it, and, as always, feel free to delete if you are not in the mood.
As always...my love
Just walked up TIPA road to Dharamkot after not taking that orad in about 2 weeks. And it's as if I am walking someplace for the first time. Seems familiar but no place I've actually been this tripl No more whizzing sickshaws to jump aside from or taxi's r;ushing up blowing their horns. And only 2 other people were seen the whole way up. As a matter of fact, the only human sound accompanying me the whole way up was the occassional scrape of my hiking boots on the road or the soft rustling of my heans as my legs brushed against each other.
And so the forest came alive! At one place there was a tree standing alone with 18(!) ravens on it just enjoying thier perches in the sun and "chatting" quietly with each other. None of their usual shouting and squacking to disturb the peace of the day. It's as if the change has relaxed them as well. Further up a little hollow in the wood filled with layers of flitting butterlies. Also seeming to have been invited as well to enjoy the peace of the forest.
And the foliage has all become richer and greener and more luxuriant. The fronds on the ferns are enormous with brown stems running through their centers. Some as large as huge banana leaves. And the mosses have spread to cover enormous spaces that used to be just dark damp earth. One kind had little "leaves" in the shape of stars with miniscule white pointed "flowers" almost like sitting atop the "leaves". The cicadas no longer competing with the vehicles or human voices are heard in full force. And many different kinds of bird calls can be heard from the trees. The sun is gloriously warm and blessedly obscured from time to time by the shade of the forest. Making the walk the perfect combination of cold crispness and warmth.
As I approached Dharamkot, even the lilting voices of the school children seemed almost in aintrusion.
A few sparse lower branches seem connected by enormous spider webs.
One lone butterfly disappearing inside a clumpf of low lying rhodedendran.
A few lonely rays of suncshine manage to beam their way through the thickness of the 20-30 meter hi pines to rest on the forest floor which is a combination of pine needles, low greenergy, rocks and moss covered earth.
Surrounded completely on all sides by toal silence, except for the ever present cicadas and distant dcalll of ravens and the occassional magpie. I feel embraced not only by the splendor of the trees all around me, but my Mother Nature herself! The trees soar upwards like needles topped with triangles of green pointed at the sun as if striving to reach the heights of heaven itself.
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And I sit insignificantly here but knowing that I am just as much at home here as the trees!
The Above is one of the reasons I so miss being in India, as I have been 3 times in the past 5 years just at this time of the year
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