Sept 19, 2003 The Mother Figure Insights-"Inside" vs. "Outside"
Well, just writing off hand here....life has been a whirlwind of activity almost since the day I arrived here and have had very very little time to myself...there is a very unique group of people a the guest house now...people of all ages and different countries and we all seem to have formed a sort of family and we do all kinds of stuff together...including sitting up late at night in the central area and talking about every topic under the sun...Israelis, american, New Zealand, Australia, Holland, England and even Indian....but many are leaving today and tomorrow and don't know if a new group so cohesive will form...it was really fantastic though while it lasted....yesterday we went up to Dharamkot for pizza and had a lovely day together, and I finished up the Reiki course...both girls are having very powerful reactions and have taken it very seriously which really pleases me....I have also been named the local "mother" again...can never get away from that role. It is part of who I am I guess. I've been called a nurturer and perhaps this is true...perhaps what I am still seeking in my life is someone to nurture me...someone with whom I can stop being a mother and feel vulnerable and feel the need to be protected without making excuses...
A thought came to me a few times over the past few days...since I have been experience somethng, so far, entirely different than my first trip....I have been "outside" instead of "inside" since I got here, and quite enjoying it, although finding myself missing the "inside" time....
"Using the silences to reinforce my strengths and go outward".....I find that when I do sit with myself, in forced silence, this is the direction my thoughts take me...that I have spent enough time going inward and the time perhaps has come to start doing some outside stuff...without fear of loosing myself....just thoughts...will see where they head over the days to come....
by the way...I have come to the conclusion that the monsoon has officially ended, a few days later then expect...but for sure...yesterday I hung up something to "drip dry" and this could have taken forever or never happned at all if it was still monsson....it was actually dry by morning!!!!
tomorrow I have a day to pamper myself...at 10 I have a facial and at 1 a full body massage....
sunday I hope to go up to the waterall in Bhagsu and then just start my walks again and get back into shape....I will be at Beit Chabad for Rosh Hashana and then the monday after I begin my course...I had stopped yesterday to ask and they told me it begins on this Sunday....and then, all of a sudden today I saw the Rav down in town with his tefillin and went over to say hello, and he says "Wow, it is really good we met, as the cousre has changed and will not start until the monday after rosh Hashana!"...so I am happy I have next week free to (perhaps) be alone a little, althought Nathan, the 29 year old Australian guy has asked to come walking with me....so we will see...he is very pleasant company...
That's about all for today....life really is full of surprises but quite pleasant....and although I think of everyone at home, I am no longer so homesick as I was in the beginning....especially that I know everyone is doing quite well without me....
So, my love to all....
A thought came to me a few times over the past few days...since I have been experience somethng, so far, entirely different than my first trip....I have been "outside" instead of "inside" since I got here, and quite enjoying it, although finding myself missing the "inside" time....
"Using the silences to reinforce my strengths and go outward".....I find that when I do sit with myself, in forced silence, this is the direction my thoughts take me...that I have spent enough time going inward and the time perhaps has come to start doing some outside stuff...without fear of loosing myself....just thoughts...will see where they head over the days to come....
by the way...I have come to the conclusion that the monsoon has officially ended, a few days later then expect...but for sure...yesterday I hung up something to "drip dry" and this could have taken forever or never happned at all if it was still monsson....it was actually dry by morning!!!!
tomorrow I have a day to pamper myself...at 10 I have a facial and at 1 a full body massage....
sunday I hope to go up to the waterall in Bhagsu and then just start my walks again and get back into shape....I will be at Beit Chabad for Rosh Hashana and then the monday after I begin my course...I had stopped yesterday to ask and they told me it begins on this Sunday....and then, all of a sudden today I saw the Rav down in town with his tefillin and went over to say hello, and he says "Wow, it is really good we met, as the cousre has changed and will not start until the monday after rosh Hashana!"...so I am happy I have next week free to (perhaps) be alone a little, althought Nathan, the 29 year old Australian guy has asked to come walking with me....so we will see...he is very pleasant company...
That's about all for today....life really is full of surprises but quite pleasant....and although I think of everyone at home, I am no longer so homesick as I was in the beginning....especially that I know everyone is doing quite well without me....
So, my love to all....
posted by Jane @ 2:31 PM
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