October 3, 2003- Understanding and Honouring the Needs of the Soul
Hi all
Well, I finally figured out, or was helped to figure out, why I had been a little down for almost a week....and now I feel so much like writing, but have decided that what wasn't written over that period of time, about people I met and things I did or didn't do, were just not meant to be written and I will leave it for now...
This will be a little strange e-mail I guess as it will include a dream I had last night (actually just before waking this morning) which is still powerfully with me all day...I have not written all the details but must put it down on paper so as not to forget it.
Had a really nice day today , spoke to a couple of interesting guys at the guest house who are more or less seeking solitude as I am so they are much better company for me than the crowd I was hanging around with before and am quite pleased to have met them.
Then I walked up to Dharamkot, returned the Tanya to the Rav (more perhaps about THAT later) and then walked across to Bhagsu, spent a couple of hours with Akhilesh .In the morning I brought in some film to develop and also bought a couple of pair of nice pants to use at home...and then after eating my first garlic cheese naan since getting to india togehter with akhilesh, I bought a couple of shalwar kameezes with long sleeves finally-probably paid too much but I like them and am happy with them so who cares....)
What I have finally realized is the following:
The one and ONLY purpose of this trip is really and truly rest and recuperation. My ideas for further travel from here had put me into deep stress whenever I think of it and that is what was getting me down the past week.....I have concluded that whatever the origin of these fears of travel are, and I can only speculate where they originate-I must listen to my soul and desist from planning and also not feel guilty about not "doing" anything on this trip. IF I meet someone who I enjoy being with and we can go togehter, fine. If not-it will be on my next trip. I will concentrate completely on doing PRECISELY what I feel like and that is ready-bought 2 good books yesterday-Shirley McClaines Camino and the 4th in the Clan of the Cave Bear serries (which I began reading from the library in Gush Katif and never got to the 4th). walking-exploring new paths here-eating well, (found a new place yesterday and had a fabulous fresh leafy crispy salad and veg. wonton soup in just the perfect size portion-in the salad was : red cabbage, iceburg lettuse, spinach, radish, tomato, carrot, string beans, cukes - all cut in large fresh delicious peices with the most deliciously subtle dressing I've ever tasted)...and spending as much time each day as I need to be with myself in solitude-. Did a little shopping yesterday as I had an "urge" ....movies if one I like comes up and that's it. Amristra and Rishikesh will still be here when I come back next time...as will Sikkim, Darjeling etc.,..and hopefully next time I will not come alone...so everything will seem more simple.
so I am now quite relaxed and happy....and think I will leave the dream for tomorrow
My love to all...and easy fast in cast I don't write again before Yom Kippur....
Well, I finally figured out, or was helped to figure out, why I had been a little down for almost a week....and now I feel so much like writing, but have decided that what wasn't written over that period of time, about people I met and things I did or didn't do, were just not meant to be written and I will leave it for now...
This will be a little strange e-mail I guess as it will include a dream I had last night (actually just before waking this morning) which is still powerfully with me all day...I have not written all the details but must put it down on paper so as not to forget it.
Had a really nice day today , spoke to a couple of interesting guys at the guest house who are more or less seeking solitude as I am so they are much better company for me than the crowd I was hanging around with before and am quite pleased to have met them.
Then I walked up to Dharamkot, returned the Tanya to the Rav (more perhaps about THAT later) and then walked across to Bhagsu, spent a couple of hours with Akhilesh .In the morning I brought in some film to develop and also bought a couple of pair of nice pants to use at home...and then after eating my first garlic cheese naan since getting to india togehter with akhilesh, I bought a couple of shalwar kameezes with long sleeves finally-probably paid too much but I like them and am happy with them so who cares....)
What I have finally realized is the following:
The one and ONLY purpose of this trip is really and truly rest and recuperation. My ideas for further travel from here had put me into deep stress whenever I think of it and that is what was getting me down the past week.....I have concluded that whatever the origin of these fears of travel are, and I can only speculate where they originate-I must listen to my soul and desist from planning and also not feel guilty about not "doing" anything on this trip. IF I meet someone who I enjoy being with and we can go togehter, fine. If not-it will be on my next trip. I will concentrate completely on doing PRECISELY what I feel like and that is ready-bought 2 good books yesterday-Shirley McClaines Camino and the 4th in the Clan of the Cave Bear serries (which I began reading from the library in Gush Katif and never got to the 4th). walking-exploring new paths here-eating well, (found a new place yesterday and had a fabulous fresh leafy crispy salad and veg. wonton soup in just the perfect size portion-in the salad was : red cabbage, iceburg lettuse, spinach, radish, tomato, carrot, string beans, cukes - all cut in large fresh delicious peices with the most deliciously subtle dressing I've ever tasted)...and spending as much time each day as I need to be with myself in solitude-. Did a little shopping yesterday as I had an "urge" ....movies if one I like comes up and that's it. Amristra and Rishikesh will still be here when I come back next time...as will Sikkim, Darjeling etc.,..and hopefully next time I will not come alone...so everything will seem more simple.
so I am now quite relaxed and happy....and think I will leave the dream for tomorrow
My love to all...and easy fast in cast I don't write again before Yom Kippur....
posted by Jane @ 1:23 PM
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