October 26, 2001- Back in McLeod
We traveled here on Tuesday (it is now Friday) and I had previously
written to all of you about my butterflies upon
pulling into Pathankot and feeling of coming home.
Everyone was so pleased to see me and it was a good
feeling.
Wednesday we had a long but easy and nice day. We
took a rickshaw up to Bhagsu to arrange a massage for
Shlomo and me but "the girls" had already left for
more touristy areas. We visited Akhilesh who was
quite surpirsed but very pleased to see me and we had
a nice vist with him. He was quite taken with Shlomo!
The village of Bhagsu is completely dead...most of the
restaurants are closed and you don't see a person in the
streets- really weird. We then walked home via bhagsu
road and prowled around town and shopped.
Did Reiki to Shlomo at his request (after Akhilesh
told him he couldn't believe he was with me for 2
weeks and never requested a treatment!) and I was
astounded by the depths of his reaction - won't go
into details here. I never expected something like
that from him...then we went down to eat and both fell
asleep exhausted but pleased. He is enchanted by this
place and am no longer sorry that I came back here
with him. At least he is seeing a side of India
different from what he has seen so far and
appreciating it.
Yesterday we took a rickshaw up to Dharamkot and
Shlomo went for a "long" walk in the mountains - 8
minutes on the clock!! - and got bored..So much for
enjoying nature. then we found the pizza place after
his almost dropping from exhaustion on the way and
barely being able to breathe, but I have to give him
credit, he didn't complain once. We thoroughly
enjoyed the pizza and two german women joined us for
coffee, but we had so much pizza between the two of
us, we offerred them some and they were
overjoyed...seems they were VERY hungry but couldn't
afford to buy pizza. Shlomo finally found out what it
means to meet total strangers and enjoy their company
and how you can travel alone but not really be
alone...it was an interesting experience for him. We
then walked home via the mountain down to Bhagsu which
again was quite difficult for Shlomo but he didn't
complain once, and when we got back to town, he
couldn't resist spending the rest of the day
shopping!! It's just what this place is meant for and
believe it or not - I also bought some more stuff.
Finally ate, and Reikied him again but he made me stop
in the middle after he was brought to tears - he said
he was too afraid to confront issues which had begun
to arise and would let me know in the future when he
was ready...
Slept well until this morning. We have planned a
short walk for today up the mountain for breakfast at
the tea house in Dharamkot and hope the day will pass
quickly...I want to get home.
It is now 12:30, same day and Shlomo has been
completely out of it since this morning. He refuses
to (or cannot) walk, is very weak, now is in bed. He
is having horrible choking and coughing spells as hif
his lungs are trying to get rid of years of 4 packs a
day of smoking. I don't think he has used his body
either at all for any physical pursuits over most of
his life and he is really in bad shape. so we are
doing nothing today which is fine with me. I just
feel like relaxing which he CANNOT do so he has been
forced into bed to sleep off his weakness which gives
me time to just be alone and relax. I think the
altitude may also be hard for him.
(Realized afterwards that the Reiki had a lot to do with
his coughing as well)
This last bit in India has been a mixture of confusing conflicting
feelings but it was probably good for me to swing back a little
from the "high" I was in before coming home. It will make getting
back to reality easier since in some ways I have already come
"down to earth".
Everything that happens is planned for the best
interest of all and I can see the blessing in the past
couple of weeks quite clearly. It will save me some
of the adjustment of geting "back to normal" when I
get home in a few days.
The weather here is really changing and I know that if
I stay here next year through November it will be
quite chilly but still pleasant. It was really good
that I was given the opportunity to come back here
again and see.
Tomorrow just have to get food ready for the
train...one nite in Delhi and home. Long long flight
which I hope will not be too difficult...just the
though of waiting 7 hours to board a plane when home
is only 45 minutes away is difficult (little did we
know then that we would have to wait until the
following morning!!).
Same day - 7 PM
I have been having a very heavy feeling of loss. So
heavy that it is a physical weight. I am making last
minute preparations to leave here and this time there
is no chance I will be back any time soon I literally
feel "heartbroken". I know this will probably all pass
when I see everyone but I think I will find it very
difficult not to think of India constantly while I am
home I can now understand what people mean when they
talk of their longing to return. I can already feel
it. It is not like leaving any other place I have
every visited. Those are just places you go to see
and then are happy to come from. This is more than a
place...it is an essence...something alive...something
you can physically leave but which stays within you
whereever you go. That is what India has become for me...
something that will be WITH me and WITHIN me forever
now no matter where I am.
We saw the Dalai Lama by chance today. He came by in
a motorcade on his way home from abroad and even
though I only caught a glimpse of him waving and
smiling from behind a car window...I still felt that
same stirring of energy wihtin..amazing!
so, I keep thinking I have nothing else to write but
things keeps coming up to the surface and although I try
to detach myself and feel like I am already "on the
way", it is not really working. I think I will eat
here in the room tonite and go to sleep early.
written to all of you about my butterflies upon
pulling into Pathankot and feeling of coming home.
Everyone was so pleased to see me and it was a good
feeling.
Wednesday we had a long but easy and nice day. We
took a rickshaw up to Bhagsu to arrange a massage for
Shlomo and me but "the girls" had already left for
more touristy areas. We visited Akhilesh who was
quite surpirsed but very pleased to see me and we had
a nice vist with him. He was quite taken with Shlomo!
The village of Bhagsu is completely dead...most of the
restaurants are closed and you don't see a person in the
streets- really weird. We then walked home via bhagsu
road and prowled around town and shopped.
Did Reiki to Shlomo at his request (after Akhilesh
told him he couldn't believe he was with me for 2
weeks and never requested a treatment!) and I was
astounded by the depths of his reaction - won't go
into details here. I never expected something like
that from him...then we went down to eat and both fell
asleep exhausted but pleased. He is enchanted by this
place and am no longer sorry that I came back here
with him. At least he is seeing a side of India
different from what he has seen so far and
appreciating it.
Yesterday we took a rickshaw up to Dharamkot and
Shlomo went for a "long" walk in the mountains - 8
minutes on the clock!! - and got bored..So much for
enjoying nature. then we found the pizza place after
his almost dropping from exhaustion on the way and
barely being able to breathe, but I have to give him
credit, he didn't complain once. We thoroughly
enjoyed the pizza and two german women joined us for
coffee, but we had so much pizza between the two of
us, we offerred them some and they were
overjoyed...seems they were VERY hungry but couldn't
afford to buy pizza. Shlomo finally found out what it
means to meet total strangers and enjoy their company
and how you can travel alone but not really be
alone...it was an interesting experience for him. We
then walked home via the mountain down to Bhagsu which
again was quite difficult for Shlomo but he didn't
complain once, and when we got back to town, he
couldn't resist spending the rest of the day
shopping!! It's just what this place is meant for and
believe it or not - I also bought some more stuff.
Finally ate, and Reikied him again but he made me stop
in the middle after he was brought to tears - he said
he was too afraid to confront issues which had begun
to arise and would let me know in the future when he
was ready...
Slept well until this morning. We have planned a
short walk for today up the mountain for breakfast at
the tea house in Dharamkot and hope the day will pass
quickly...I want to get home.
It is now 12:30, same day and Shlomo has been
completely out of it since this morning. He refuses
to (or cannot) walk, is very weak, now is in bed. He
is having horrible choking and coughing spells as hif
his lungs are trying to get rid of years of 4 packs a
day of smoking. I don't think he has used his body
either at all for any physical pursuits over most of
his life and he is really in bad shape. so we are
doing nothing today which is fine with me. I just
feel like relaxing which he CANNOT do so he has been
forced into bed to sleep off his weakness which gives
me time to just be alone and relax. I think the
altitude may also be hard for him.
(Realized afterwards that the Reiki had a lot to do with
his coughing as well)
This last bit in India has been a mixture of confusing conflicting
feelings but it was probably good for me to swing back a little
from the "high" I was in before coming home. It will make getting
back to reality easier since in some ways I have already come
"down to earth".
Everything that happens is planned for the best
interest of all and I can see the blessing in the past
couple of weeks quite clearly. It will save me some
of the adjustment of geting "back to normal" when I
get home in a few days.
The weather here is really changing and I know that if
I stay here next year through November it will be
quite chilly but still pleasant. It was really good
that I was given the opportunity to come back here
again and see.
Tomorrow just have to get food ready for the
train...one nite in Delhi and home. Long long flight
which I hope will not be too difficult...just the
though of waiting 7 hours to board a plane when home
is only 45 minutes away is difficult (little did we
know then that we would have to wait until the
following morning!!).
Same day - 7 PM
I have been having a very heavy feeling of loss. So
heavy that it is a physical weight. I am making last
minute preparations to leave here and this time there
is no chance I will be back any time soon I literally
feel "heartbroken". I know this will probably all pass
when I see everyone but I think I will find it very
difficult not to think of India constantly while I am
home I can now understand what people mean when they
talk of their longing to return. I can already feel
it. It is not like leaving any other place I have
every visited. Those are just places you go to see
and then are happy to come from. This is more than a
place...it is an essence...something alive...something
you can physically leave but which stays within you
whereever you go. That is what India has become for me...
something that will be WITH me and WITHIN me forever
now no matter where I am.
We saw the Dalai Lama by chance today. He came by in
a motorcade on his way home from abroad and even
though I only caught a glimpse of him waving and
smiling from behind a car window...I still felt that
same stirring of energy wihtin..amazing!
so, I keep thinking I have nothing else to write but
things keeps coming up to the surface and although I try
to detach myself and feel like I am already "on the
way", it is not really working. I think I will eat
here in the room tonite and go to sleep early.
posted by Jane @ 6:16 PM
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